If you were to ask me for honesty,
I'd give you the embers of half-truths,
and sing you the song obfuscation
that only divulges its essence
under the right circumstances
(no, not today -
although, I have entertained
the thought of singing it just once
then flying south to perch on
If you were to ask me for a bit of honesty,
then I can muster the strength to confess that
I am tinder in your presence & absence
(physically, emotionally, etc.),
awaiting for your warm breath to ignite me,
but I've come to realize a few things.
The totality of this lopsided relationship,
the entirety of this muse that behooves me
stems from the momentary touch of the
surface of your oceans.
... for years,
I've penned you,
confectioneries & confessions
from a single drop of water.
From a single drop of water -
I've birthed cosmoses that are infinite
(well no, toroidal because
you are the star-stuff missing in the center).
I've drowned in you.
If you were to ask me for honesty -
then, I'd tell you that I regret not drinking you
in entirety when I had the chance,
I was too busy boiling that drop of water
into syrup so sweet, that saccharine would be an
The use of parenthesis is brilliant, and the whole form of this piece flows without appearing to try.
The only time the flow was interrupted for me was this stanza:
"I've birthed cosmos that are infinite
(well no, toroidal because
you are the missing star-stuff missing in the centre),"
The plural of cosmos is cosmoses so I think that's the word you're looking for in that sentence. Or else it'd be "I've birthed a cosmos that is infinite". And the repetition of "missing" in the last line throws the reader a bit.
However this stanza is also one of my favourite stanza's for the metaphor.
I also love that you put the word "saccharide" in a piece, without disrupting the flow. Well done.
I haven't read much poetry lately here, it was refreshing as usual to check your latest.
For somehow I feel like this is prose poetry, you still beautifully depend on imagery and metaphor, Mark, the main tools which make writing pretty distinguished rather than dull, journalistic, pure prose, just thought.
Many, many lines could be quoted, and the wording is just so divine, thank you so much for sharing, very enjoyable.
Mark, this work is astounding. Your wording is uncommon but in this case was spot on (toroidal due to missing star-stuff in the center - where it would be most important!)
Your serial metaphors are crisp in their imagery: the bird that sings one song of (partial) honesty & heads to better climes, the tinder waiting to be ignited, and, most notably, trying to capture her essence from a drop of her ocean.
A couple of minor points: maybe your line breaks should be looked at and. perhaps, "confessionaries"