Comments : A [Promising] Failure (Prose)

  • 1 year ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    I love this Stephen :)
    I love the way it sits on the page..
    It looks and reads beautifully.

    Well Done.

    • 1 year ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      Been in a prose sorta mood of late, though it is overwhelming sometimes the twists and turns that prose can take in contrast to the rigidly strict formatting of poetry. I need to challenge myself more, though, and so this is a product of that.

      Thank you for always being so supportive, and you are a light in a very dark world.

      Much love,
      IdTakeABulletForYou

  • 1 year ago

    by Marshall Lee

    I can dig this poem. I imagined being in a dark hallway, picturing the narrowness of the walls. Itso very interesting. Life could be that hallway

    • 1 year ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      It is a bit lackluster on imagery, but I wanted the focus to be more on the emotions than the hallway. Thank you for reading, mister!

      IdTakeABulletForYou

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    S, this is brilliantly written but so saddening because I can picture you walking down the hallways looking at things that make sense and going they were your life (not saying you do) and you know what many of us, including me, do it. Hope for better but remember if we had better we'd still want better.
    Much love and keep writing your beautiful poetry.
    Em

    • 1 year ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      Everyone has always told me that the future is mine, I have so much potential, I'll do great things... I think people who are told they'll do nothing with their life, or are useless low-lives, have more motivation to succeed than someone who is told the future will come to them, when in fact it's the other way around.

      Thank you for your unending support,

      Much love,
      IdTakeABulletForYou

    • 1 year ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      -

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    Stephen, amazing write! It's hard not to dwell on our past failures and maybe not being in a position we thought we would at a certain junction of our lives. Small changes can make huge differences at times. Keep that in mind, nothing is too late.

    • 1 year ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      At this point in my life, whilst having a desire to travel but no ability to do so, I feel like I don't control where my hallway goes. It's a very difficult situation to grasp for someone who has such a desire to travel as myself, and my poems tend to get darker the more time I spend in one place.

      Let's hope the hallway turns into a courtyard, someday.

      I plan to reply to your message tonight!

      Thanks for always reading and being kind,
      IdTakeABulletForYou

  • 1 year ago

    by Courtney

    The brackets "A [promising] failure," really stood out to me here. When others sit there and say, "life must be good," "You have a great future," or "You have a perfect life." Its just represents the thoughts we insert to make that statement true. What an awesome and relatable write.

    -Courtney

  • 1 year ago

    by Poetess

    I don't think it's lackluster on the imagery. The emotions definitely paint a very clear picture of this "hallway". It's sad, but I can't help but love it.

    Thanks for sharing with us!

    -Liz

  • 1 year ago

    by Vicente

    The clear expression of the feeling of having no control is well put. When you say that you see photographs of potential hanging it makes me wonder why you never tried to achieve them. Also, why are you afraid of what may or may not be? You're not isolated like you believe that you are. At times we all feel that the Universe is against us, or at the least trying us a little too hard. Yet we are never actually alone. You said, "I've isolated myself at a depth to which no soul can travel". A well written line, no doubt, but I don't find it to be true. You and I both know my stance when you say such things, but I'll leave it at that on this comment.

    All in all, a well expressed struggle. Irregular rhyming pattern, but it flows well. The mood is dark and submissive, but holds pinpoints of lights and hopefulness spread about.

    • 1 year ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      There's no rhyme at all, Blake, it's Prose! Also, "lethargy" is a key to answer your questions.

  • 6 months ago

    by Kelly Wölfin

    As always, you touch my heart and speak to my soul. I watched every movement in this play out and it made it want to reach out and hold you until you realize what I already know... you are amazingly beautiful and wonderfully stronger than you realize. ?????