I will deal with the end of this brutally honest piece when I get there, but I am going start at the beginning.
I've known for some time now
that writing has given me the strength
to breathe, will to keep going,
clarity to survive and share.
All good here; writing is therapeutic for you and certainly is for me and many others on this site. It is an outlet that we so desperately need sometimes. You, though, seem to have needed it even to 'breathe'. But what gives? Next stanza.
Knowing struggles linger
like a slow, smoldering
brush fire, denial allowed
me to ignore the smell of
Smoke is a warning of an altogether more dangerous problem: fire. Just because we are aware that we suffer with issues, doesn't mean we should ignore the symptoms of potentially devastating ones.
*Quick point: 'smouldering' with a u.
Questions would fly through a room
on a day when I wasn't quite strong
enough to answer, waiting for nightfall-
I would answer questions alone in my
room as the moon witnessed confessions
of a broken down soul.
I will take these together as they tie in with each other. I love the personification of the moon here and your acknowledgement of that being the only thing you can confess to - your love of nature is mixed up in this, I dare say. Odd, though, as most people who are suffering dread the dark; not so here, it seems.
As the reader, you witness my ability
to make darkness beautiful, death
comforting, gutted pain look
like a sparkling, wintry nature scene.
An open address to us, the reader. As pretty as words can sound and as metaphorical we can make the demons sound, the darkness is still there and it's much uglier than a beautiful line on the page.
I no longer wish to hide within metaphors
and it's time for me to put down my pen,
explore this darkness of mine in ways
I never dreamed I would do.
Now we reach the crux of the issue. You are, temporarily, tired of wrapping your problems up in metaphor and gift wrapping them for others' 'viewing pleasure'. You seem to want to deal with them a different way for the time being.
For now, I want to thank you for reading
my heart, be comforted in knowing-
When Autumn sets in,
the Maple Tree will blossom
with new shades you have
never seen before-
A thank you and a goodbye for now? or at least in terms of writing but a promise that when the Maple blossoms again, it will do so with new shades - stronger ones perhaps?
Thank you for reading
I'll see you again when
the final leaf falls....
It has been an absolute pleasure reading and - if this is literal and it may not be - do not be gone long. You are a treasure on this site.
Andrea, I will miss you immensely, your writing is so incredibly beautiful. I understand though, we all need to take a step back now and again and draw strength. Rest, dear lady, we'll see you back in the fall. Hugs! Brenda
Maple Tree. I love your work, but understand the need to have a break every now and then.
Just know this site is full of support and friends to help whenever / wherever you need it. A very sad piece indeed, but lovely way to "depart" all the same.
I can recommend taking a break - its harder than you think, but it will release time; time to pursue whatever you like. Personally, I am an all or nothing guy, so I had refrain from logging on as it was too damn tempting to comment or write a little ditty.