All That's Left of You (Demons)

by IdTakeABulletForYou   Jul 29, 2016


I think about you every time I close my eyes at night
because the last time I was happy was when you were in my life
and it's so hard to sleep unhappy while the demons haunt my dreams,
with nothing left to keep my heartbeat safe all that's left is to scream.

...though you will never hear me; all these shrill sounds from my heart
erupt each evening in my head since the first day we were apart.
I can't help thinking you've moved on and don't even recall the days
where I slept on your lap or by your side, naked but unafraid.

I'll never know the love you did or didn't have for me,
and when you left our summer spot for the last time, what did you see?
Did you see hate in lieu of morning, where a fresh day had begun,
or were you sad you knew it was the end to all that we had spun?

Sometimes the lines of friendship and of lovers blend as one;
this makes it difficult distinguishing just which line we are on.
I never intended to hurt you, nor to make you run away,
and I would change it in a heartbeat if things went back to the way...

...to the way that we would cuddle, just as friends and nothing more.
...to the way I slept beside you as we occupied the floor.
...to the way that I would love you, but before I spoke my heart.
...to the way things were that Summer, when I wished Fall wouldn't start.

Still, these demons ever-present haunt me, even when awake,
and demons are just broken dreams we had that only ever ache
in knowing they'll never come true, they're sadness concocted by us
and sadly we can never kill them, for the aching never stops.

I think about you every time I close my eyes at night
and know I never will be happy for you won't be in my life.
You see... I even love these demons, for they're all that's left of you,
and I just hope I get some sleep tonight.
That's all that I can do.

IdTakeaBulletForYou

4


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Latest Comments

  • 1 year ago

    by Vicente

    Parts of this sound like they would come frome me. It's mildly pessimistic, but doesn't feel completely "dead". I liked it, but maybe it strikes close to home for me.

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    S, this is truly beautiful but sad all the same. The yearning, the heart ache, the wishing things were different and the imagery all makes this a perfect poem as always by you.
    Much love and I hope things get better, Em

    • 1 year ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      Thanks for taking the time to read, Em! Hope we both recover soon :) Even though this is going on 10 years for me lol.

      Much love,
      IdTakeABulletForYou

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    Stephen, such a sad poem! Well done though, lots of yearning and wishing things were different. But alas we know, that's not to be and you did a wonderful.job putting that into words. Hugs-

    • 1 year ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      Thanks for taking the time to read, Brenda. I know it's quite a lengthy piece, but it's very important to me. It means a lot that you read it! It's actually a spiritual sequel to one of my favorite poems, one that never actually got posted on here for some reason, called "The Heart I Couldn't Steal"-- it just has a little bit of the backstory. So it's nice to have written a successor after all these years, it feels good!

      Much love,
      IdTakeABulletForYou

  • 1 year ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    WOWOWOWOWOWOW
    Excellent work. The imagery is amazing.! Well done S :)

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