Below is the poem with suggested corrections:

I lay there looking up. The roof is white,
peeling paint; showing a crack (or two).
The artist in me wants to patch it up,
the darkness in me wants to paint over it, black.
My soul is dividing.

I roll to my side, back against the wall.
More cracks appear
as though the walls are opening up.
Slowly, I shed a tear.
My soul splits.

Eyes closed; the noise begins.
Quiet at first, then louder.
Something falls on my face.
A white, dusty powder.
My soul wanders off.

Deep breaths in, deep breaths out.
Head spiraling, chest tightening;
All around is darkness and broken walls.
I feel extremely frightened.
My soul is gone.

Shadows dancing free
Running every which way.
I wish it were all over,
Please let tomorrow be a better day.
My soul, come back..

I have never experienced a panic attack myself, but I do know friends who have severe anxiety issues and they do describe it to be like the world is falling apart around them and they've lost all control over their being and are just falling away from themselves. I can only imagine it must be terrifying, but it does make for quite a good poem!

Beautifully written, I'm loving your new style!
5/5
IdTakeABulletForYou

You convey emotion very well...

This really is a very detailed and oppressive poem that really closes in on you as you read.
I have never suffered panic attacks myself but I have seen the results of them and I am aware how crippling they can be.

Take care,

SL

N, this is very very powerful and of course personal to you but many people can relate. You go through the emotions well. It's awful when you feel like everything is cracking around you and there's nothing you can do about it.
Em xx
Ps had to nominate.

#SirLanelot

N, very powerful, very raw (in a good way)-you poured everything out and gave us an inside look on what happens when you are experiencing one of these attacks. Thank you for sharing, hugs-

I've never experienced a panic attack but, I think your description would be pretty spot on. I'd hate for anything like that to get a grip on me, it sounds very scary indeed.

Panic or anxiety attacks are no fun. Especially when you're in bed, the one place where you're meant to calmly relax. This is wonderfully written and spot on. I love the wording, the title and how it ties into the poem.

Only one suggestion- "roof" should be changed to "ceiling", as roof is used when referring to what's outside of the building and ceilings are inside. :)

-Liz

Judging Comment:

This piece relates to a condition or event that occurs in the lives of countless people each and every day. Even those who do not experience them first hand are bound to know at least one person who does battle them; and this makes that feeling (whether on the sidelines or in the game) all the more understandable, relateable, and necessary. The author left a note that this piece is quite personal to them, but even one person's catharsis can be just the thing another needs to free themselves of similar chains, and I wholeheartedly believe that this author has done that for many members and readers out there. The word choice is spot on, the descriptions are almost too painfully vivid for those who have stood in these shoes, and the emotion just oozes out from every speck of black on the screen - it's a fantastic piece

Oh goodness I'm sorry I missed this piece.. My heart is in my mouth.. Love you, love this. Take care know I'm here