Comments : Rekindled love

  • 1 year ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Awww em. If this is him. Itll only lead to troble. Lust never led us anywhere good.. im sorry you feel hes the only one :( if ya needa talk im here..

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thanks Naomi. Xx

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Hello Em

    I know the troubles you've been having lately so when I read the title 'rekindled love', it gave me hopes of a brighter future for you! Although, I should point out (in honesty) that sometimes it isn't the best solution; after all, if things went south initially, are those same issues still a problem? They need addressing and then I certainly do believe love can be rekindled and made a success of.

    Every little flower needs something to help it grow
    and you're that something that I need, you know.
    My heart it skips a beat whenever I hear from you,
    my stomach it does somersaults, this much is true.

    ^^

    I love the sentiment here: it doesn't matter how promisingly beautiful a flower may be, it still needs something to help it grow - fertiliser, if you will, lol.
    Love certainly does make your heart skip and stomachs do somersaults so you do seem to have the required symptoms.
    All I may suggest is adding a few syllable in the second line here as it seems to come to an abrupt halt as the first line has a few more. What about

    'Every little flower needs something to help it grow
    and you're that something that I need, this I know you know.' (just a suggestion)

    I shouldn't feel like this after all that you have done
    but I can't help feel like this, you're my only one.
    I know that things will get better if only in time
    because I still think you're amazing and divine.

    ^^

    Love can make us oblivious to past hurts if the cause of that pain still brings us the obvious pleasure that this person still seems to bring you. Again, a word of caution though. What happened? what went wrong and can it be prevented from happening again? (I don't mean to preach)
    Again, I feel the second line could do with an extra syllable or two:

    'I shouldn't feel like this after all that you have done
    but I can't help feel like this, AS you're my only one.'

    Again, just a suggestion.

    I can't believe I'm doing this but I feel it in my heart
    that you were something special even at the start
    so I'm hoping for the best and turning on my trust,
    this will sound stupid but I know it's more than lust.

    ^^

    Here I will backtrack to a degree and say that - if you know that this really is something special and needs holding onto - then grab it tight and don't let go, good woman! (Just be aware).
    Here I think the flow is lovely and need no tampering with at all!

    Em, a poem full of hope but also one whose sentiment needs approaching carefully.
    Be happy, whatever you do,

    SL

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thanks Sir L. Edits will be made.

  • 1 year ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello Em,

    I was going to make some suggestions, but darn, if that scoundrel Sir whats-his-face hasn't jolly well pipped me at the post. *throws hat onto floor*

    Seriously Em, good advice from SL, and a good poem from the heart from you.

    After all, lust is not everything - its a quite a lot, but not everything. *shakes head* no, its not everything, not-every-thing! Damn, its my everything!! lol

    Bye for now,

    Mr Shallow

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Haha thanks Michael for your comment, it gave me a laugh and is always appreciated. Don't worry guys I know what I'm doing (just lol)

      Em

  • 1 year ago

    by Mayday

    Awee, this is so cute and sweet and gushy ^_^ It's good to follow your heart sometimes and all the little butterflies in your belly- to take chances. I think you did a lovely job here. :3

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thanks

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    Em, I know this will fall on deaf ears especially when you are in the throes of lust-take it slow...as far as the write, lovely little love (lust) poem...

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thanks Brenda and I intend on