Comments : Dressed In Pixie Dust

  • 1 year ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    Spectacular!

    The only structural comment I would make would be that the end of the first verse seems a bit syllabically lacking, particularly the last line.

    5/5
    IdTakeABulletForYou

    • 1 year ago

      by Ben Pickard

      I saw that myself, Stephen, but couldn't quite fix it...

  • 1 year ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Wow. Excellent. Well done

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Just wow. I can't say much more Sir L. This is beautiful in every way.

    Em

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    Sir L, this is so lovely! What visuals! I'm totally enamored with this write-well done!

  • 1 year ago

    by The Po whet

    Amazing write SL

  • 1 year ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Good morning sir,

    As mentioned previously this poem is 'beautiful' and has great 'visuals'.

    There is something ethereal about the night time and people who find themselves awake, we both understand this all too well. I think it's the quiet, the exclusivity of still being awake whilst the majority are asleep. There is peace and calm, but with undertones of mystery. What lies within the shadows that are cast everywhere? The fears prickle, the senses enhance and everything is possible... Here we have a lady of the night, she's dressed in green. I imagine her being mother nature, but she could just be the milk lady delivering a crate of gold top?

    Sorry sir, I am feeling dizzy, dreamy...

    ... from her last call to the woodman, she notices the window left ajar. 'How handy' she tells herself and smiles, after all, he's been practically begging for it with all that whispering my name. Knights are all the same, wanting their (K)nightly pleasures, wanting to see my curves and no doubt get their armored hands all over 'em. I tell yer, it's more than a lady like me can take, but, there is something irresistible about Sir Lancelot, something gallant, noble and almost regal that brings the out the ardent passion in this now heaving bosom of mine. If he wants to see skin, skin, I think he will see - we shall converse in magical tongues and set the woodland a glow with synaptic connections. That'll leave him wondering in the morning I bet, he'll be like, was that a dream? He'll be left with my legendary curves etched in his mind. Poor Sir will never forget Mable the lady who put a creamy pinta on his table last night!!

    Sorry about that Sir, I must of past out...

    Take care,

    Michael

    • 1 year ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Good Lord, Michael, I think I have wet myself. Your comment is better verse than the actual poem, lol.

      SL

  • 1 year ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Congratulations Sir on your win. A poem of such rich tapestry deserves a spot on the front page.

    Well done,

    Michael

  • 1 year ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    *duplicated comment

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Thanks all for your comments

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Hahaha Michael. Could you just imagine that sweet little face of Sir Ls in bewilderment of if it was a dream or not. You go fella ;)

  • 1 year ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    Hello Sir L.

    love this poem ... its seems that you are waiting for thinkerbell... once read it it felt magical...thanks for the happy thought..

    Gee

  • 1 year ago

    by stormingdance (Jessica)

    Spellbounding use of words, great flow/rhymes and imagery.

  • 1 year ago

    by BlueJay

    Judging Comment:

    The imagery in this piece is outstanding and the style is wonderful for conveying such a many meaning message. One thing I notice about this author is that every time he is nominated the piece keeps up the same flow and voice as the last read piece so beautifully that it all feels like one chapter connected to another in a story and I love how each chapter is such an interesting take on whatever has to be said. So this week the piece is beautiful, light, airy and overall mesmerizing - which is definitely worth being recognized because it is difficult to keep an audience entranced when your writing is presented in such a "blocky" or static form. This is an absolutely stunning write.