I'm pleased you posted this, Naomi, as it shows your understanding of the English sonnet (or Shakespearean sonnet) is coming on in leaps and bounds.
Keep working on the iambic pentameter side of it (look on youtube - there are some excellent little posts on there) and it soon comes naturally.
As I've said before, you have a natural flair for sonnets and I love the topic in this particular one; unique, considering the form.

SL

Hello,

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/66856.The_Ode_Less_Travelled
^
This book really helped me. There are exercises that once completed a few times will have you nailing the iambic pentameter.

I have just read your sonnet and I have mixed feelings. On one hand the IP is pretty much there, but the use of olde English words is distracting due to the words sounds not being obvious. This can upset the flow and make it confusing for readers to understand. My advice is to use these words only if they compliment the flow.

All in all this sonnet is amazing, its telling of a loved pet turtle is original. I like seeing traditional forms like this being used for subjects that maybe aren't traditional. Have you checked out my twist on a traditional theme? Here is the link: http://www.best-love-poems.com/poems.php?id=1249610

Great stuff - you'll be definitely be inspiring others to try, no doubt!

Take care,

Michael

Thank you ! I have been youtube watching and i will give that site a go! :)

N, I really liked the tale of you pet turtle. It's rather original and your sonnets are. Coming on nicely. I need to check those sites lol.

All the best, Em

N, you really are embracing sonnets beautifully. Such a lovely tribute to your pet turtle. Well done-

I am a turtle, and therefore you love me.

Wonderful sonnet, darling. I'm proud of you! We should do a sonnet together!

5/5
IdTakeABulletForYou