Defiant Pen

I may as well live on a different planet
because this suffocating loneliness
is too much pain to bear.

Here I am, once again,
wasting another poem
to try and gain you back

Perhaps you were trying to get rid of me
from the start.

Did you ever really want me to stick around?
You can be honest,
the truth can't possibly hurt
any more than your silent departure!

The thing I miss the most
is actually believing that you loved me,
but deep down I knew I didn't deserve you.

Now I am trying so hard
to be everything you said you wanted me to be.
I'm only doing it for you
even though you are not here to see.

I'm trying not to waste another poem
trying to gain you back,
but each time I always fail
as my pen leads my hand back to you.

The truth is:
I'm finding it impossible to move on
without you.

Saffie
25

18/5/16