Apples That Float Away

by Ben Pickard   Sep 2, 2016


To breathe in woe and then bemoan the thunder clouds,
Can bring no kind of sympathy or peaceful rest.
The storms that we amass we must then blow away
And tie our hearts upon the setting sun out west.

Are apples truly rotten on this gnarly tree -
Can birds not perch upon the branches just as well?
Is all this ugliness, in fact, just ripe in me,
And have I cursed this life with my own wretched spell?

A perfect home is something that I always knew,
But greener grass is all I ever really craved;
A lesson, then, before I finally undo
The ropes that tie my fragile raft and float away.

--

2/9/16

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  • 3 weeks ago

    by yogi73

    Thoughtful and wise poetry. Well done

  • 1 month ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    As I have come to expect, your words are beautiful, but they seem to be drenched in a sadness in this piece; it is a beautiful sadness, nonetheless. It seems that this piece means so much to you because it's you opening up and trusting the reader with very personal emotions that you don't often reveal. From this, I gauge you desire a new beginning, having built your life upon a gilded stage that looks brilliant and well-orchestrated but is secretly falling apart; hoping for, as you say, "greener grass."

    It does seem that by the end of the piece, you've decided what is necessary for you to start anew. Perhaps, even, this was around the time where you removed all your poems and created your new identity of "Sir Lancelot"... a sort of undoing and floating away, only to start fresh in a familiar place with a different name. Sometimes that's the worst desire to have, when wishing to start anew. Even in my own offered advice, I say "Just pack up and find somewhere new to start fresh." That is not what everyone desires, though; some merely want to go back and restart where they are. A wish to change what happened, not what will happen.

    Subtly intertwining your past, present, and future is a very fascinating and powerful ability, especially with a piece that is as brief as this. The only thing that offput me was the first verse, being abcb instead of the abab that you follow throughout the rest of the poem. There is no change I would suggest, and I didn't realize it until I had reached the final verse. It was a thought, nonetheless, realizing "Oh, these verses rhyme... did I miss something in the first verse to not realize that immediately?" I would say, if anything, it made me reread the first verse again. Never a bad thing.

    I can see how this is one of your favorite pieces; everyone else seems to appreciate it as well. I hope your undoing of ropes to float away is done with, for now, and that you are here to stay.

    Much love,
    S

    • 1 month ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Stephen, that is quite safely one of the best comments I have ever received.

      Thank you

  • 1 month ago

    by Kitty Cat Lady

    Ben this is amazing and I'm commenting without reading the other comments so as not to influence my interpretation ... I'm sure there could be thousands!

    "To breathe in woe and then bemoan the thunder clouds,
    Can bring no kind of sympathy or peaceful rest.
    The storms that we amass we then must blow away
    And tie our hearts upon the setting sun out west."

    This feels like regret ... a man (I'm assuming) dissatisfied with life in some way (mid-life crisis maybe?) who has first looked for the reason of his discontent in his wife. By prodding that perfectly fine relationship, he's opened a can of worms and broken it. He knows it was a stupid thing to do and now can't expect any sympathy nor rest. He now has to deal with the fallout of that and take his sad heart elsewhere.

    "Are apples truly rotten on this gnarly tree -
    Can birds not perch upon the branches just as well?
    Is all this ugliness, in fact, just ripe in me,
    And have I cursed this life with my own wretched spell?"

    The apples represent her - perhaps he feels she's lost her sparkle (rotten), the tree their relationship ... his realisation that all was fine with them and her, it was him who was having an issue (ugliness) and by breaking the relationship, he's mucked up his life with his own dissatisfaction/boredom.

    "A perfect home is something that I always knew,
    But greener grass is all I ever really craved;
    A lesson, then, before I finally undo
    The ropes that tie my fragile raft and float away."

    The conclusion of this painful lesson ... the classic cliche "you don't know what you've got till it's gone" ... he had a perfectly fine wife and life but his thirst for this shiny new lady are his undoing. In fact, the last two lines could even be his last thoughts as he finally succumbs to the charms of a seductress ... "before I finally undo the ropes that tie my fragile raft and float away" he knows this act will ultimately end his marriage.

    I may be way off base, but I've had fun unpicking it :-) To write a poem that can mean something different to each reader is a gift. Love it! x
    =^.^=

    • 1 month ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Kitty - now that's a praise-worthy comment! Thank you.

  • 1 month ago

    by Jamie

    Ben,

    The reason i feel this is good is because there are many ways this can be interpreted. The mark of a good poem to me is, besides the writing and imagery is leaving the reader to think. You have done well here.

    Honestly it took me a minute or two for it to click but i think this poem is in the point of view of someone who is either looking to start over or someone who has just started suffering from depression because of their present, probably both in my opinion.

    I believe the first stanza is about someone who has suffered from depression possibly manic depression and is looking for something more. A big change per chance?

    The second stanza tells me that the person blames themselves for the misery they are suffer even though it is not true at all.

    The last stanza is about breaking free. Even though they had an ok past, they want more. They want to prove yo themselves that they can be happy on their own.

    The more i read this the more i love the point of view, because it seems you are giving us someones thoughts, that they are too afraid to speak in voice. Each stanza completes the last. That is what mskes this poem excellent.

  • 2 months ago

    by Beautiful Tragedy

    Wow Ben. This is a very powerful piece and I think a lot of us have been here in one way or another.
    Well done,
    BT

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