Lovely start to the poem with wonderful imagery of the little girl. When I read the fourth line "awful goodbyes" I wondered if woeful goodbyes made more sense to me but then I wondered if you deliberately shoes awful over woeful because such goodbyes are always awful or was it because the word woes is used later in line one of the second stanza.
I loved the rhyming and rhythm throughout the poem especially the second line of the second stanza
"let not the ravens and let not the crows". It Was nice to have further descriptions
of the girl with her bonnet and stockings.
The poem progresses and becomes much darker and yet sad that such a small girl
has lost someone close and has imagined them rotting with a worm riddled face
wonderful descriptions throughout.
The hint that her language was so mature and poetic a historic feel to it was
a clever clue that would lead into the final reveal that she was a ghost and the ghost was visiting her own
grave was a delicious twist at the end.
Great little short ghost story woven into poetry. Loved it Millyx
I scanned from top to down and this has turned out to be very mysterious and stunning write in my view. The description here, is just heart-touching as you have described very nicely the melancholy state of a wee girl. I like the whole creation and also the fact that you have a sorrowful and loving heart. Death of little children always gives great pain.
And yes, the ending is quite mind-blowing. And the most horrific stuff of this write is that you were talking to a ghost whole time. This write I can say is a mixture of sadness and darkness. In the end I came to know that she was crying for her own for her body and soul is separated.
The rumbling thunder? the heavens protest
At us for disrupting this body's last rest!
I like the above lines.
You have great talent even in the field of Dark poems. Well done, Sir
Thanks, Ben. I know what you mean there, actually, and while a lot of my poems are in the 'sad' category, I normally avoid the darker stuff. But this was purely fictional, so I suppose it's not so bad.
This poem is simply brilliant Ben, it truly is! I've missed your poems since I've been away, and this one must be truly one of your best ones yet! Awsum writing Ben. Superb. What more can I say.
Simply loved it. Well done!!