Comments : Anna Elizabeth May

  • 1 year ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Wow benny. Sounds so sad and eerie

    • 1 year ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thanks, Naomi. I wrote this a while back actually and just had this idea that came to me late at night. I remember running down the stairs and scrawling this all out frantically, lol

  • 1 year ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    The joys of being a writer!

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Loved this the first time I read it and love it still.
    It's sad but somewhat chilling because of what the story is about.
    Em

  • 1 year ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Lovely start to the poem with wonderful imagery of the little girl. When I read the fourth line "awful goodbyes" I wondered if woeful goodbyes made more sense to me but then I wondered if you deliberately shoes awful over woeful because such goodbyes are always awful or was it because the word woes is used later in line one of the second stanza.

    I loved the rhyming and rhythm throughout the poem especially the second line of the second stanza
    "let not the ravens and let not the crows". It Was nice to have further descriptions
    of the girl with her bonnet and stockings.

    The poem progresses and becomes much darker and yet sad that such a small girl
    has lost someone close and has imagined them rotting with a worm riddled face
    wonderful descriptions throughout.

    The hint that her language was so mature and poetic a historic feel to it was
    a clever clue that would lead into the final reveal that she was a ghost and the ghost was visiting her own
    grave was a delicious twist at the end.

    Great little short ghost story woven into poetry. Loved it Millyx

  • 1 year ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    Weeeee goosebumps all over my body....I should open this early in the morning. It's 7:43 pm here and already dark....this poem scared me.

    Comment : nice Epitaph and Elegy form.
    While reading this ,felt like I'm on the story and watching the two characters talking.

    Great work Sir Ben. This writing can be feature on All souls day special. peace yah Sir

    5/5

    Gel

  • 1 year ago

    by Augustus Black

    Hello, Sir.

    I scanned from top to down and this has turned out to be very mysterious and stunning write in my view. The description here, is just heart-touching as you have described very nicely the melancholy state of a wee girl. I like the whole creation and also the fact that you have a sorrowful and loving heart. Death of little children always gives great pain.

    And yes, the ending is quite mind-blowing. And the most horrific stuff of this write is that you were talking to a ghost whole time. This write I can say is a mixture of sadness and darkness. In the end I came to know that she was crying for her own for her body and soul is separated.

    The rumbling thunder? the heavens protest
    At us for disrupting this body's last rest!

    I like the above lines.

    You have great talent even in the field of Dark poems. Well done, Sir

    - Augustus Black

  • 1 year ago

    by sofia

    It's a very powerful poem. What I like it most was final part, when the character realises that he was talking with a ghost. Very nice twist.

  • 11 months ago

    by Naughtymouse

    I love dark poetry, it isn't often I write it because I tend to go way too much into it and it's like I'm living it, I kinda have a problem detaching from it,

    Having said that, this is amazing, I hate you.

    • 11 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thanks, Ben. I know what you mean there, actually, and while a lot of my poems are in the 'sad' category, I normally avoid the darker stuff. But this was purely fictional, so I suppose it's not so bad.

      Take care.

  • 10 months ago

    by Tara

    This was a great read. Can feel the emotion. Loved the second stanza especially. I'll have to check out more of your work, keep it up! 5/5

    • 10 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thank you, Tara.

      All the very best

  • 8 months ago

    by PETER EDWARDS

    This poem is simply brilliant Ben, it truly is! I've missed your poems since I've been away, and this one must be truly one of your best ones yet! Awsum writing Ben. Superb. What more can I say.
    Simply loved it. Well done!!

  • 6 months ago

    by Milly Hayward

    What a brilliant and haunting poem. As always your poems conjure up such vivid imagery and emotion. This raised the hackles on my neck. Beautiful write

  • 5 months ago

    by CRAFTY KEN

    Sorry Ben, I thought that I had commented about this poem, it is one of your best! It is filled with mystery, deep stuff with that surprise ending, very clever! Excellent write, added to Favorites.

  • 5 months ago

    by Judy Sullivan

    Ben, I've read a few of your poems, but I think this one really touched my heart. You are an amazing poet. Keep it up. I'm looking forward to read more of your work...

    • 5 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thank you, Judy. I have to say, although it's long, this is probably one of the pieces I'm proudest of.

      Take care.

  • 4 months ago

    by Kereen

    Wow. This is beautiful and flowing and it tells me a story in kinda like a song. This is amazing and touching

  • 1 month ago

    by Sherry Caayupan

    What a nice poem! Or is this already called a sonnet? Anywayz, glad i read it. Looking to reading more of your writes!!! Have a good day...

    • 1 month ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Hi Sherry. No, not a sonnet. They are 14 line poems written in ten syllable lines.(just two of the many rules!) Thank you for your lovely comment.