Words beyond the grave

by Dark Secrets   Sep 15, 2016


It seemed unreal,
to stand at your gravestone,
see your name marked

I stroked that headstone,
as I did your head
in your days of sickness
I saw your eyes stare back at me
tired... but full of love
I remember that last kiss on the forehead,
the nurses looking at me,
and I leaving you
feeling like I wanted to give you a thousand more,
I felt something was wrong,
but I was tired,
people were looking,
and I didn't kiss you as I wished

I told you how much I missed you
and even before I spoke
my tears blinded my eyes
I didn't dare wipe them away,
That was your job!
You couldn't stand my tears,
they were my weapon against you
and I enjoyed the attention
All I want is to be in your arms once again

You were always in a hurry,
and asked me why I wouldn't let you go
when we embraced,
You asked; "Aren't you satisfied?"
"Never!" I said,
and as long as that last hug lasted,
... It's still not enough,
I wanted it to last a lifetime

I hear your voice,
heard it all along my religious trip
the one you gave me before you died!
"Go!" you said,
and no matter how many times I said I can't
you repeated your request
and so I heard your voice

I heard you as I always did;
"Hun, are you ok?!"
"You're tired"
"Promise me you'll have something to eat"
and I felt my hand slip to my side
Look for the fingers
that filled the spaces between mine

Just like that,
they vanished,
and I heard your words ring in my ears
"If this is how you cry now, while I'm alive,
what will you do after I die...
Please, don't cry when I go"
... "I can't"
I said
and you wiped my tears,
dove into my eyes,
started to laugh, and said;
"just a little then..."
and even that is a promise I can't keep.

** For my husband, Hussain, who passed away on 26th of April 2016... You will always be remembered, and you will always be in my heart

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Latest Comments

  • 3 years ago

    by Mary

    Your experiences of grief will find meaning in the hearts of many who read them Thank you for sharing every one of them.

  • 5 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Oh, this is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for your loss.
    You've conveyed these precious last moments in a way that at times I felt I was Hussain and others the tears blinding your eyes.
    This is going into my favourites. ..

    Take care.

  • 6 years ago

    by CRAFTY KEN

    Your poem is a lasting memorial to this great man as he held your heart in his hand. I deeply feel your grief and sorrow, you may think; how does he know? I know because of the losses in my own family, a baby we had named Todd and the miscarriage at five months that took him away. The passing of my Mom and Dad, my younger brother found dead and alone in the woods, his Bible by his side. So yes I truly understand and share your pain and tears as well. I found relief in the verses in the Bible that said; Blessed are those who morn, for they shall be comforted! As also written, we do not morn as those who have no hope. I pray that you will be comforted also and that all the wonderful memories and time will heal your Soul. Your friend, Ken

    • 6 years ago

      by Dark Secrets

      Thank you so much. I like that verse "Blessed are those who morn", very inspiring.

  • 6 years ago

    by Liz

    This just broke my heart. I'm so sorry

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Zahra,

    This poem is far too personal to comment much on - certainly from a technical point - so all I will say is how well written it is and how emotional I found it. You have my sincerest sympathy.

    "If this is how you cry now, while I'm alive,
    what will you do after I die...
    Please, don't cry when I go"

    ^^

    I know this means nothing coming from me, but those few lines should be heeded. If I ever died, the last thing in the world I would want is those I cared about drowning in sorrow. Try and live and celebrate all that was good in his life.

    All the very best,

    Ben

    • 7 years ago

      by Dark Secrets

      Thanks for your kind words... I try, everytime I feel like crying I remember his words.

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