Comments : Come back

  • 1 year ago

    by Shruti

    Hello there,
    welcome to P&Q.
    This is sad, yet a great first write here...about friendship, the joys as well as the sorrows that it brings along. Your rhyme is good as well.
    It is really sad when the person who can make you laugh and smile so much can also make you cry when he or she leaves. But remember that true friendship always returns.
    And I love the last lines a lot.
    Well done and keep writing. :)
    ~S

    • 1 year ago

      by Ekta Jain

      Thank you dear, for encouraging me and for reading my poem too. 😊

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    Hi a nice little write by you here that I put money in everyone being able to relate too.

    Friends come and go but the ones that stick by us are the best.
    Em

    • 1 year ago

      by Ekta Jain

      Thanks for your kind words... Em

  • 1 year ago

    by Lune de ma vie

    I wish, I hope, I dream for the geniality days to come back
    Haulted at when we were small,
    The fragrance is still in my hearts wall,
    As a Magi you appeared for me and fall,
    The moaning of ours is still buried deep in my hall,
    For me the internal, immortal love is still tall.
    ^^^^
    The opening of this stanza is utterly powerful drawing the reader into a vibrant image of your experience and longing for this special friend. Not just that, but it brought me back to my childhood and the times spent with my neighborhood friends. The way you described how the fragrance of this friendship is still in your heart was really powerful.

    I wish, I hope, I dream for the geniality days to come back,
    Scamper at my heart and bounces back to your.,
    Irresolute of all the vigour fights we fought for.,
    Till today leaning and knocking at my door,
    But the renown has separated us over and over more,
    With you, it was worth living at the sea Shore.
    ^^^^
    The repetition of the first line is well done and gives this poem more of an intimate feeling. The rhyming and rhymic style played out in this second stanza are catchy and unique, you've surrounded it with such deep metaphors and powerful emotions. I love the expression of how you and this friend or perhaps more fought for such vigour, a hardiness of love and friendship. It's almost like this person maybe was dealing with an illness or perhaps some form of a tough situation. You did all you can to be their friend and companion fighting to save them but it just wasn't anything you were able to control. Perhaps I am getting ahead of myself.

    I wish, I hope, I dream for the geniality days to come back,
    Tears that you can palpable and make me ribald,
    Laughing, crying and evergreen feeling is still called,
    The secret cannot remain as one and was told,
    Still grateful as a friend like u I got but not hold,
    Turning pages and pages of my diary and refreshing all that and fold.
    ^^^^
    Beautiful ending. I would change "u" to "you" but, the love and heartache which consumes this entire poem and mainly this final stanza swelled up within me and gave me a sense of nostalgia of a friendship and love that I lost. This is the true power of a poem and poet, to pull the reader in and make them relate your poems to something within their life. Great work, welcome to P&Q!

    • 1 year ago

      by Ekta Jain

      Awww!! Thank you so much . I'm glad that you like it.
      Lune de ma vie.