Comments : To Make You Immortal (English sonnet)

  • 11 months ago

    by Em

    Thanks so much Ben you're so kind ;) joking aside what a beautiful dedication to that special someone.

    Em

  • 11 months ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Sonnets, in my opinion, do not get any better than this!

  • 11 months ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    A Sonnet is all about love - how it feels, what it truly means. How would this look in words? What one would do to capture it, that emotion? People have died for love, so here Ben, speaks of immortalising his love. I mean, why would a lover not want to ensure his love was eternal, never to die, always to appreciated? In reality, this is impossible, but not so, in world of poetry. Here we can make the possible possible; and in a sense, Ben will, if this poem exists in hundreds of years time, would he not have achieved this lofty claim. Did Shakespeare think his work would grace the grandest of stages, his work read by the most famous of actors? No, not even an ego of the grand bard himself. But, now in this time, where everything we digitalise remains for all to see, why not? Why, should this published Sonnet be read in 10, 100, even, a thousand years from now? Love will remain the same then, it will be appreciated as a timeless emotion able to bring grown men (and women) to their knees.

    So, to spin a lovers beauty into golden silk, a finest product know to man, would this craftsmanship not be viewed in some futuristic museum as art of the purest form: Literature.

    A fine piece of art that I ever did see!

  • 11 months ago

    by Naughtymouse

    I have to agree with the Dr....this is simply amazing. Ben, your writing of late just seems to get better and better, I don't mean that to sound like a pat on the head but truly this is wonderful!!

    • 11 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thank you, all, but I have to point out that this would never have come about but for Shakespeare's sonnet.

  • 11 months ago

    by Brenda

    Ben, this is so lovely! You rock the sonnets! Obviously whatever I say at this moment will sound like drivel next to Michael's glowing dissertation lol. It truly is beautiful.

    • 11 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thank you, Brenda. Take care.

  • 11 months ago

    by Milly Hayward

    A wonderful write inspired by the great Bard himself. A worthy protégé. Milly x

  • 11 months ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    Again Dr. Darcy said it all and left us nothing..hahahah .. Great write sir Ben. Your love shines and you left everyone blinded by that.. lol.
    Elegant dedication sir

    5/5 always

    Gel

  • 11 months ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Hi Ben,

    I read this on Michael's profile page and at first, I thought it was by a famous author from way back:-)

    So well done, I nominated it!

    Welcome back, a pity you deleted your old work, though.

    All the best,

    Ingrid

    • 11 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thanks, Ingrid. I hope you are keeping well.

      Ben

  • 11 months ago

    by Acoustic Odyssey

    Breathtakingly beautiful! If your words flowed any better a river would happen upon my screen. There's nothing quite immortal than pure love, and it was spun well in this verse!

  • 11 months ago

    by The Po whet

    //"if you, like me, are mortal in his eyes
    Then wrongs abound that cannot be ignored."//
    These two lines carries all the meaning of your thoughts in this write. They speak about the perfection of this person you so much adore. About how pure they are such that by them being mortal makes you wonder whether it's not a sin for such beauty not to be remembered forever.
    Your ending is also powerful as you've taken it upon yourself to be a god to immortalize this person.
    Great write Ben, good work.
    Take care but don't stop writing

  • 11 months ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    Absolutely beautiful

  • 11 months ago

    by Something Diabolical

    WOAAAH!

    was my initial reaction reading this.
    So beautifully penned! An Honour to old bill

  • 11 months ago

    by BlueJay

    Judging Comment:

    This author usually over does their pieces, or is missing key elements - for my taste. But this week, with this piece, I was truly amazed by the way things seemed to work a little more cohesively. There was an interesting use of voice, the originality paired with the inspiration was clear enough to convince me this was genuine work, and the style was more suited to the concept this time. So all of those things were fantastic to see here, and all very well done. The opening was captivating and conclusion did not leave me feeling like there was still more to be said, which was great! So all in all nice work, definitely a great example of the author's potential for the contest!