There once was a lonely black widow spider......
always looking for somewhere to hide
to avoid being squished and insecticide
She was hanging out in a tire in the old garage
a vision of loveliness or perhaps a mirage?
She just lost her husband she said with a grin
he was a recluse who played violin
8 lovely legs but i didn't mean to stare
does eight legs mean four vaginas
and is she willing to share?
I tried to kiss her and she said i beg your pardon
I'm dating a nonvenomous spider
i met in the garden.
i lured her to my web with ladybugs and Spanish flies
she couldn't hide the lust i saw in her ten eyes.
She was cuddly and shiny gloss black
cute red birthmark on her stomach as she layed
on her back.
Now in spider swinging circles I'm considered well endowed
my lovemaking would make a tarantula proud
with steamy passion we rocked my web all night
stopping only once to give a nosy human a nasty bite.
what a lucky arachnid i am as i lay spent beside her
to comfort this grieving lovely black widow spider
as she kissed my neck i lit a cigarette with a cough
she looked at me satisfied then bit my head off.
There once was a lonely black widow spider...