Comments : This would be my longest sleep..Goodbye

  • 7 years ago

    by Augustus Black

    Hello.

    A poem that could create some water in the readers' eyes. Very nice mother's love poem.

    Well written.

    • 7 years ago

      by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

      Thanks brother... Promise me,you're gonna be a great man someday...Pursue your goals and shoot for the stars..

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Gel this is a great write with fab rhyming but very very dark...

    Em

    • 7 years ago

      by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

      Em,
      thanks for everything :,(

      y'know what I'm talkin about...
      don't forget to take your meds...Be a good girl always..hahah (I know you're a good egg) just in case u forget that.. lol

      gel

  • 7 years ago

    by Augustus Black

    Yes, Ate Gel.

    I will certainly become a great man someday. Oh, but pls you don't go. You can't go like this... now I would be all alone without you Ate Gel..... pls. Hope I will make ypu happy with my good works. Don't leave us.

    • 7 years ago

      by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

      Well that's an offer I Can not refuse..thanks for that.. hope this just a simple heart burn..

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    "the longest sleep" this sounds like a suicide note, or a farewell from someone who has a terminal illness.

    I have often wondered what I would prefer: Knowing when I am going to die, or it happen without warning.

    In your depiction, every body part gets the chance to imagine saying 'goodbye' in its own unique way. This is a clever way of breaking down the experience, cell by cell, drawing out the 'longest sleep' for as long as it tales for each cell to say 'farewell'.

    Well done, Gel.

    Take care,

    Michael x

    • 7 years ago

      by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

      Not a suicide note Michael. .. It's just a heartburn, thought it's my heart aching. ..It frightened me too .. thought twas the end. ...At least I already said goodbye.

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Crikey, Gel, apart from this being immensely sad, there are also quite a few technical terms in relation to the body (and I didn't have to google one!)

    Excellent stuff,

    Ben

  • 7 years ago

    by Hallucinostic

    I like it, even though it's in a lot of ways, sad. The way its written is very good, educational in some ways for you used some, well, not so simple medical words and phrases. That adds to the interesting part. Really good.

  • 7 years ago

    by William Mae

    I enjoyed very much, but in me at least it strikes chords of sadness

  • 7 years ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Very sad.. but i could relate.. very well done.