To This Day

by Beautiful Tragedy   Dec 8, 2016


To this day;
I can still remember myself falling in love with you-
A single bulb dimly lights the stairway
and small space beyond,
Enough light to see the seriousness in your chocolate brown eyes.
Mine are filled with tears,
But my heart pounds as I try to find the words I want to say.
I've already fallen in love with you;
And I know you're starting
To feel the same.
Tonight however.. I am broken.
You are my only hope,
And I need you to tell me I mean something to you.
The only way I can find out is by being honest;
And so I finally break down and tell you.
"I'm broken.. I'm so broken that..
I'm not even sure if I can ever be fixed.."
I sit in a white tank top and black yoga pants,
Unusually comfortable in them in front of you- As if I were only around chickens;pecking pebbles around my feet.
Your eyes fill with such sadness and my heart squeezes.
You really do care about me...
Nobody has ever given me a chance long enough
To see that I am not a terrible person.
You speak in such firmness;
Words gently bandaging my broken hope.
"I need you to listen, and BELIEVE to me when I say this.. are you listening to me?"
You have taken my hands
in yours; immediately making me feel safe and comforted,
Yet still my heart beats at a million miles a second.
I nod, looking deep into those beautiful eyes.
"NOTHING, is EVER broken BEYOND repair... it may take some time and hard work to fix it- but you CAN be fixed.."
My heart drops my stomach;
I choke back a sob because now I'm relieved.
There is hope for me; even if it's small.
"You are special. Don't ever let them tell you differently;
Because you ARE beautiful. You ARE worth more than you see;
And you ARE loved."
I know you don't mean you love me;
But that's never what this was about.
It just happened; like its our destiny.
I bite my lip and wipe the tears from my eyes,
As you gently squeeze my hands.
You belong with me.
I have never believed in anything as much as I do us.
I still do.
And because you are you;
You manage to lighten the mood,
As always, never failing to make me laugh
I wanted to stay there with you all night...
I wanted to hide my face in the crook of your neck;
Drowning myself in you;
because it's the only way I can drown; still be able breathe...
Because drowning in you is oxygen to me...
You are what keeps my heart beating.
To this day;
You still are.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    It's always a tragedy when we believe we are so damaged that no one can/would ever love us so when someone comes along and wants to take the time, a certain amount of the burden is lifted. We still may harbour fears about letting them down, but at least we know we're worth something.
    In my personal opinion, there are some of us who are simply not meant to be 'fixed' (whatever that really means anyway) but simply loved for who and what we already are. That, in turn, provides its own sort of healing, I would imagine.

    All the very best,

    Ben

    • 7 years ago

      by Beautiful Tragedy

      It does indeed. He always seemed to know what I needed even if I didn't, especially when it came to building me up; helping me love myself.
      He knew what parts of my life were missing; ones that play an important part; that are absolutely a need for someone to even have a chance at growing up happy.
      And he had such an amazing way of showing me that I am not everything I had been told; he is indeed the reason I can say I have witnessed a true miracle in this world and not have a single shred of doubt about that statement.

  • 7 years ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    This is long, but worth it to read until the end.
    Full of great imagery!

    Well done.

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