Sometimes what we want isn't what we get.
Sometimes we have to settle for the next best thing.
Or the next, or the next.
Sometimes we are shown at such a young age what people are really like.
Even the people who are supposed to love and protect you.
Sometimes we get damaged.
So, so damaged.
Like there is a constant ache in our heart where trust used to live before it was ripped out and stomped on.
Sometimes we don't get that back.
We pretend, but we never really get it back.
Sometimes something so traumatizing happens to us that we become afraid.
Afraid of men, afraid of women, afraid of pain, just so afraid. That fear keeps us from living.
From being who we were meant to be.
Sometimes it's not okay, will never be okay.
We struggle on with our own form of existence.
All the while knowing others have what you want.
Yet, never being able to obtain it.
Sometimes we die, long before we are even dead.
Like the person we are gets killed and we are left with an empty shell that only knows how to perform mundane human functions. Sometimes that shell of a person wants to join its soul.
So it reacts in the only way it knows how.
Sometimes to join something dead a person must become dead. They say suicide is selfish.
Please, let me do just one thing for myself.