Comments : The Best Version of Myself

  • 7 years ago

    by Gabriel

    A good short piece of being honest and unreserved, in ones character.

    I only have one thing in these two lines:
    "So if want to steal my light,
    drown out my happiness.,"

    The first line is missing a you, and causes the train of thought to be lost due to trying to figure out what you mean. If you did this trying to give the lines the same length you could always add a and to the line after the first making it the almost the same. Of course that's your choice I'm just making a recommendation.

    Gabriel

    • 7 years ago

      by Scrittore

      Nope forgot the you, thanks for catching that!