Black Bird (Form - Jueju)

by Augustus Black   Jan 3, 2017


The black bird is in the skies,
Aiming down with dreadful eyes.
Drops its egg from very high,
Soon Hiroshima will die.
________________________

- Augustus Black
Date - 2nd January 2017

Note: Jueju - I found that this form is tougher than Senryu as it contains both - The adjustment of syllables and rhyming.

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Latest Comments

  • 4 months ago

    by mossgirl19

    WOW! This is truly excellent! Visuals are great, yes. Fantastic!

  • 8 months ago

    by Shruti

    Oh wow! I love this one. The metaphors and the imagery is so good!
    Sad, yet lovely. :)
    ~S

    • 8 months ago

      by Augustus Black

      Thank you so much for viewing and your comment.

  • 9 months ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    Wow Augustus,

    Damn! The visual was so great you're talking bout the atomic bomb. ... goosebumps again

    5/5

    gel

    • 9 months ago

      by Augustus Black

      Thank you so much for the inspiring comment. You said "The visual was so great there". That means a lot for me, I want my poem to touch the peoples' spirit. This theme came in my mind two years back. Finally I wrote it down in 2017. I was looking for the suitable form for this write. Yes, I connected fighter plane with a bird. After this also, Japan is one of the greatest country of the world. Peace to those who died on that black day. It was very sad... many people... died. Thanks again.

  • 9 months ago

    by Em

    I would love to know more about this form myself but I believe that this isn't about a bird that has feathered wings but a plane dropping bombs? Maybe I'm wrong.

    All the best, great rhyming.
    Em

    • 9 months ago

      by Augustus Black

      Yes! You got it right. Thank you very much for the comment. Peace to those people who died in Hiroshima by nuclear Atomic Bomb.

  • 9 months ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hello Sir,

    I am intrigued by this 'Jueju' form. What is the structure? Is it:

    4 lines, each containing 7 x syllables, rhyme pattern: a,a,a,a,

    Apart from that, should there be a Volta (a turn) in line 4, or is this optional? Maybe a link would help?

    A good poem regardless.

    Take care,

    Michael

    • 9 months ago

      by Augustus Black

      He! He! He!

      I think I don't deserve to be called a Sir, but you are. Thanks for comment, Sir.

      Jueju - Jueju (Chinese: 絕句), or Chinese quatrain, is a type of jintishi ("modern form poetry") that grew popular among Chinese poets in the Tang Dynasty (618-907), although traceable to earlier origins. Jueju poems are always quatrains; or, more specifically, a matched pair of couplets, with each line consisting of five or seven syllables.

      Rhyme patter is: A,A,B,B

      Here is the link -

      https://www.revolvy.com/main/index.php?s=Jueju

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