Comments : Blue Year

  • 11 months ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Meena,

    A sad piece filled with a desperate yearning for lost love.
    I love the repetition employed at the end, mirroring the first stanza and the layout as a whole is a joy to view.

    Well done and I hope you are well,

    Ben

  • 11 months ago

    by Mohan

    "Your absence is still new"
    This line says everything.

  • 11 months ago

    by Em

    Meena, this is such a sad piece that is so full of emotion and it's still so raw as it seeps through this piece and captured my heart and it had wonderful imagery scattered throughout.

    1/ This is a sad opening and one that pulled me in. I feel this is about a lost love not someone who has passed because you hear the laughter of others maybe them yet your hearts aching (I may be wrong though.)

    2/ The last line here shows it all because the absence of this person is still new to you which to me seems they either left not long ago or they left long ago but your heart still aches for their presence on your life.

    3/ This is my favourite part. The imagery just wow.

    4/Now, this makes me believe it is about someone who has passed as they aren't near and the repetition I feel makes the reader feel the longing for this person well it did me anyway.

    Kudos on yet another great write.
    Em

  • 11 months ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    Hi Meena,

    a very sad yet insightful piece.

    Another year born
    without you
    joyous laughter I hear
    yet my heart is blue,

    ^^^
    I can feel how you missed this person.and you can't laugh with the people around you, coz your heart covered with sadness. .

    I look past
    the crystal dew
    ^^^
    my favourite lines
    very nice imaginary

    and one thing is clear...
    your absence is still new,
    ^^
    another powerful phrases
    even you knew he's already gone , you're still not used to it.

    An untouched morn
    has no clue
    of the birth of tears
    which silently brews,
    ^^^^
    awww a heartfelt stanza

    Another pain adorns
    which blurs my view,
    you are not near...not near
    makes my heart blue

    ^^^^
    the repetition was just right placed in a perfect place. .

    Well done Meena.

    5/5
    Gel

  • 11 months ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Another year born
    without you
    joyous laughter I hear
    yet my heart is blue,
    ^^^
    I feel this is either new years or a birthday! as its a celebration with a loved one.. im sorry its always painful to be sad at a time which should be joyful..

    I look past
    the crystal dew
    and one thing is clear...
    your absence is still new,

    this is just wow... im reading it as crystal dew as tears.. the pain in the last line hit me hard.. well done..

    An untouched morn
    has no clue
    of the birth of tears
    which silently brews,

    silent tears... we all know these very well.. i have written a piece years ago about them..

    Another pain adorns
    which blurs my view,
    you are not near...not near
    makes my heart blue

    i love the repetition here.. you are wanting this loved one back, close where you can reach out and touch them..

    well done on this Meena..