Her endless need to be adored by all,
Despite affection leaving her at sea,
Has left a heart and mind that won't agree
And summer chasing winter's blasted call.
How do we clear a room of spiders' webs -
Or stop the foliage falling from the trees?
How can we calm the gale and blow a breeze,
Or swim the tide that flows but never ebbs?
The boughs all snapped, the land was lost to flood;
Her desperation shook and strangled her.
A craving was the perfect saboteur -
And now the river ebbs and flows with blood.
Self-loathing casts an iron net that kills;
There are such cups that cannot be refilled.
Ben Pickard 2017
*Bowlesian sonnet (or Australian sonnet) comprises three
quatrains and a couplet with an abba cddc effe gg rhyme structure.
Ben, good to see a new piece from you I always feel like the cat who has the cream or the lady who had had her cake and eaten it lol (did you like what I did there?) when I see you have posted something else because it always opens up my brain and claws away at it until I finally think I have cracked the message you are trying to tell haha. Anyway....
1/ This opening is filled with vivid imagery that I can picture being this person because who doesn't want to be liked regardless of their state of mind. I know sometimes I wish more people gave a damn then realise I am lucky to have the people in my life that do. Her mind and heart here I feel are at loggerheads with one another and the only reason I can think why is love? Hmm, maybe.
2/ The fact of the matter is, we cannot no matter how we try but we can hold out hope and try anyway because at least then we can't say we didn't even Ig it ends in failure.
3/ Now, here we have it. She has given way to temptation and ceased her life because of it and now that river ebbs for her as she wanted it to anyway. I know there's probably a deeper meaning to this but this is what I got.
Couplet/ This ending is rather powerful and the image within amazing. My first thought was that this person self loathes so much that even the iron net surrounding her is killed off trying to get through to her that she is far from what she thinks of herself and that somewhere, someone is searching for a lady just like her. Please correct me if I am wrong lol.