Comments : Vent

  • 10 months ago

    by Em

    Ho, I must say I liked the snappy lines in this because it makes it feel like the anger inside coming out or the anxiety as usually they come together with bad days though I will have to say because the last two stanzas were a different rhyme scheme I stumbled on then a little though have no suggestions for these... Though thinking about it maybe its a good thong because it shows on these bad days we can change drastically in our moods.

    Well done,
    Em

    • 10 months ago

      by Em

      Stupid phone and being unable to edit it.. I need to remember to check my comments too. I did mean hi I wasn't calling you a ho lol oops!!! Apologies!!

    • 10 months ago

      by Ren

      Hey Em!
      hahaha! No worries, I did not read it as if you were calling me a Ho ;) no apologies needed!
      Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I'm sorry the last stanza threw you off...I see what you mean. I actually didn't even realize it until now! I'll look into possibly changing it and see if I can't make that flow better...but I'm glad you still enjoyed it!
      Thanks again!
      Take care :)

  • 10 months ago

    by Jyoti Rawat

    very impressive poem.

    • 10 months ago

      by Ren

      Thank you very much!

  • 10 months ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I love this, Ren. As sad as the content is, there is a sort of inspiration to the last few lines. By grabbing a pen and creating something - even if it's carved from granite - means there is something to chase at rainbow's end!
    A very good vent indeed!

    Take care,

    Ben

    • 10 months ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much, Ben!
      I hope you are well...take care!

  • 10 months ago

    by Marvellous

    Well versed, well rhymed, well done!
    It gets better, with lessons learned.

    #Hoping you find solace in peace.

    • 10 months ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much! :) I appreciate your kind words!

  • 9 months ago

    by Michael

    Powerful peice Ren,always good to grab a pen :)

    • 9 months ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much!! :)

  • 9 months ago

    by nani

    I absolutely love the way you write this. I've read it over and over again!

    Nani

    • 9 months ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much Nani! :)

  • 7 months ago

    by pmmurphy

    i double posted sorry

  • 7 months ago

    by pmmurphy

    I like the message, the poem is nice. Its just i have read (and written) many poems like this. I'm not a huge fan of the rhyme scheme with short lines. But i kept reading. The poem has good content and i enjoyed my read. Just sharing my thoughts and constructive crit

    • 7 months ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much! I appreciate your honesty and for taking the time to read and comment! :)

  • 7 months ago

    by Tony

    Reminds me of the short answers you would actually give when you're feeling like this. I know when my temper flares I tend to say a lot more with less.

    • 7 months ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting Tony :) I appreciate it!