Ho, I must say I liked the snappy lines in this because it makes it feel like the anger inside coming out or the anxiety as usually they come together with bad days though I will have to say because the last two stanzas were a different rhyme scheme I stumbled on then a little though have no suggestions for these... Though thinking about it maybe its a good thong because it shows on these bad days we can change drastically in our moods.
1 year ago
Stupid phone and being unable to edit it.. I need to remember to check my comments too. I did mean hi I wasn't calling you a ho lol oops!!! Apologies!!
hahaha! No worries, I did not read it as if you were calling me a Ho ;) no apologies needed!
Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I'm sorry the last stanza threw you off...I see what you mean. I actually didn't even realize it until now! I'll look into possibly changing it and see if I can't make that flow better...but I'm glad you still enjoyed it!
Take care :)
I love this, Ren. As sad as the content is, there is a sort of inspiration to the last few lines. By grabbing a pen and creating something - even if it's carved from granite - means there is something to chase at rainbow's end!
A very good vent indeed!
I like the message, the poem is nice. Its just i have read (and written) many poems like this. I'm not a huge fan of the rhyme scheme with short lines. But i kept reading. The poem has good content and i enjoyed my read. Just sharing my thoughts and constructive crit