Comments : You Lost Me

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Ren,

    Your writing really is going from strength to strength.
    I love the way you have formatted this, it gives the reader a real sense of falling with you, as it were.
    As for that absurd saying 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me' - well, don't get me started there!

    Take care

    • 7 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much, Ben!
      I agree. I think words can actually be the most dangerous weapons when it comes to tearing someone down...emotionally and mentally.
      Thanks again for reading and for your comment!
      Take care

  • 7 years ago

    by Brenda

    Wow, a sad powerful write. You conveyed so well how one person can destroy you bit by bit. Then when you have been reduced to rubble and you actually leave they seem surprised by that. Well done-

    • 7 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Brenda! I really appreciate it!

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    loving the layout, but still, I would like to see Janis enable us to do more with the words. I feel if this ever happens this piece could be a visual masterpiece. Great job though with one arm tied behind your back!

    • 7 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much! :)

      I wish we could do more with the words as well...add more depth to our writings.

      Thanks again for reading and your comment!

      Take care!

  • 7 years ago

    by Gem

    The way this is written almost makes the readers heart swoop downwards as well. 'in your eyes I fail'. That line got to me.

    Nicely done

    • 7 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you very much!

  • 7 years ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Ren,
    what a beautiful piece. The layout is spot on.. well done!

    • 7 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much!

  • 7 years ago

    by Shruti

    The layout is simply so pleasant to read.
    And I really love the first line.
    ``your words hurt``...
    I know we hear these words often, but something is different about it here, and I can't make out what. Maybe because you chose to start the poem with those words. I simply love it.
    A beautiful write with hues of sadness.
    Lovely. :)
    ~S

    • 7 years ago

      by Ren

      Hi Shruti!

      Thank you so so much! Your comments are always so kind and insightful. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it :)

      Thanks again! Take care!

  • 7 years ago

    by Michael

    Expresding through poetry, really shows where we all are at times. Nice peice of writing

    Mike

    • 7 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much! :)

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    I think we have all been here or is it just me a million times over lol.. I love the set up of this and most definitely the words.

    • 7 years ago

      by Ren

      Oh yes, Em, I believe many of us have been here...me many times as well. Thank you so much for reading and commenting! :)

  • 7 years ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    This is brilliant. ...I can feel the hurt and the feelings of the writer. ..The layout is also well presented. .

    Well done Ren .

    Gel

    • 7 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much, Gel! :)

  • 7 years ago

    by pmmurphy

    The structure in this one rocks. The words fit nicely. I liked this very much :)

    • 7 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much!! :)

  • 7 years ago

    by sammiej

    Great insight into those suppressed feeling.
    Love this piece x

    • 7 years ago

      by Ren

      Thank you very much! :)