I'll never be

It doesn't hurt much
to not have enough
The pain doesn't linger long.
I have developed the stuff
it takes for me to eventually
get along.

Over and over
through the ages

I float back in my weakest hours
to see how they fare
and that is where I find
and feel a much deeper despair.

They...don't miss me.
They...are good with me gone.
I've never seen a bigger smile
I don't know why I'm drawn..
yes

To pain,
and loss,
and...rain
it s cost..is everything
its deep

You have to hand it to someone
that was able to get the job done.
When I couldn't feel lower still,
You found a way with your will.

You didn't even know it,
You did
You weren't trying
You did
You're good at this..
So good..

It's not so much you try,
its just I needed to cry.

It's addictive to blame someone
else,
try.

I float back in my weakest hours
to see how they fare
and that is where I find
and feel a much deeper despair.
cry

I wonder why
I feel the need
to punish myself
like this