Comments : At The Source, We Cease To Burn

  • 6 months ago

    by Ren

    This is a gorgeous piece, Ben, fluently written with flawless rhyming! Gave me chills.

    "It's at the source, we find ourselves -
    It's in the falling leaves we're born -
    It's by our love and heaven's wells,
    We reap the fields of golden corn."

    ^^
    Wow! Incredibly beautiful!

  • 6 months ago

    by Hellon

    I sensed a little of Burns once again in this piece and...as a result I found myself reading it in my 'best' scottish accent. Here's the result...

    Let's not, like once before, get caught
    Beneath the sun that cooks our skins, * I would say a sun.
    But let's, instead, take comfort from
    Where streams and brooks and burns begin. *too many and's here.

    Amidst the woods and cooling wind,
    We will become the perfect flame, *we'll I would say.
    And when the rabbit's caught and skinned,
    We then begin our lives again. *Then we'll begin our lives again.

    Though often seen we rarely glean
    A single ounce of sense or worth,
    And though we bathe, we're rarely clean
    And so condemn ourselves to dearth.

    -

    It's at the source, we find ourselves -
    It's in the falling leaves we're born -
    It's by our love and heaven's wells,
    We reap the fields of golden corn.

    It's a beautiful poem Ben and, I'm probably wrong to read it with my scottish accent...don't know why I did lol

    • 6 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thanks, Hellon. Interesting to read how you would read it!

      All the best

  • 6 months ago

    by Phil

    A fantastic piece that read so smoothly

  • 6 months ago

    by zvikov

    A wonderful write Ben - but I feel like there is something hidden here I can't find. What is this description?

    • 6 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Hello, Zvikov and thank you for your comment.
      In regards to the poem, I guess it's just about life and love becoming over complicated sometimes and by going back to the start or back to basics, things can be made simple again.

      All the best

  • 6 months ago

    by Brenda

    Ben, I really liked this a lot. The thoughts of simplifying life and just living with the land is a comforting thought. Getting back to our roots and unplugging really allows us time to just enjoy life itself and each other. Well done Ben, you really have brought this home.

  • 6 months ago

    by Poetess

    Beautiful and favorited.

  • 5 months ago

    by pmmurphy

    :O this is stunning. Loved every word

  • 5 months ago

    by Sive Klaas

    How you have chosen your words. I really love your writings Ben.

  • 4 months ago

    by Ben

    Ben,

    I can't believe I missed this first time around.

    Sometimes, life has this habit of getting over involved and "Extra" - there are times when sometimes we need to just stop wtf we're doing in love or sometimes just life and take a breather, regroup and peel away all the crap that's built up and return to how it should be, simple and uncomplicated - in love and life it's easy to get caught up in everything and forget why you are with someone or doing something in the first place; In both instances it is usually because of love, whether it's with someone or something, to remember how things were at the beginning and hold on to that.

    Well, that's what I took from this anyways lol

    Ben

    • 4 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thanks, Ben. You read it right!