Don't look for me beside the lakes
Or underneath the canopy;
My life is done and my heart breaks -
I die by slow and sad degrees.
When in the mist, you see a shade,
Think back to when you saw me last:
All joy and love had been waylaid
And all my hopes were in the past.
A spider has now spun a web
About my mind and sucked its life -
I drink a wine that's full of dregs,
And eat a misery that's rife.
Don't look for me on yonder hill,
Nor hope to see me in the light;
You stamped on all the daffodils
And plunged me to eternal night.
Awe bennnnnn. This is heartbreaking and so so so relatable. But let me tell you something... never let someone else decide your happiness. It took me a long time to figure that out, and it's never easy. Unless you find happiness yourself, it may very well be almost impossible to find the light.
There's always a way out of the dark, no matter what.