Within this room and on this eve,
I try so hard to make believe
That I am yours and you are mine
And that the past will rest in time.
But candles and the moon cannot,
With Cupid's arrow and one shot,
Make broken hearts complete again,
Or stem the flow of tears and rain.
So rest awhile and hold my gaze,
Despite this love that's now ablaze;
Then when the night gives way to day,
Embrace the sun's forgiving rays.
Firstly Ben I will apologise for the onslaught of comments as I have time on my hands so thought I want to try and catch up with the people's work especially those in the collabs.. I must say this is well and truly on point and I will admit that this gave me goosebumps and reduced me to tears because of the emotion throughout it.
1/ Already I feel a sombre feel and it's as if this person doesn't believe they are good enough for their lover (maybe the wrong word) and it fills them with a loneliness that no one else can feel or comprehend not even themselves.
2/ Wow, wow, wow!! What are you doing to me Ben. I feel the emotion here and it pulled at my heartstrings and gripped me with sadness, my heart aches for this person whether it be you or someone else... Nothing could ever heal broken hearts apart from I think (love) the thing that broke it in the first place which it pretty ironic isn't it?
3/ Omg... This ending is perfect and I wasn't expecting it to be honest. Now I can imagine say you holding your loved one closely, wiping away their tears and comforting them through the pain they are feeling and we all need that person who helps is through the bad and good.
6 months ago
I can't even deal with this one today, it's been a long time since I read something that genuinely made me feel like a big girl and get totally knocked down by it.
Another great piece. I love playing around with pronunciations to make them rhyme (again and rain). Beautiful imagery as well, I pictured cupid setting up a romantic evening for two and trying like hell to line up the perfect shot.
Tony - I had that exact same image, lol. As for 'again' and 'rain', I agree. I love looking for half rhymes in poetry. I always feel if you don't make use of them, and you always look for perfect rhymes, the poem is bound to end up sounding forced.