Ben, I will apologise for missing this one (I obviously have a backlog to catch up on but right now I'm feeling rather lazy to do so) as you know I've been away anyway so not fear as Ems now here haha.. you have a real knack for any form of poetry and this is one of those well all you poetry is. I am glad you found this site and can share your wonderful work with us. So you know I will split up the work using the fullstops apart from the first one so you know where I'm at lol
Firstly the title was rather intriguing and I cannot figure it out but don't worry it's perfect as I know you well
1/ What a fascinating opening. You state you've wished for more than this and it makes you wonder exactly what 'this' is... Is it love, friendship or so you just fancy more than a maccies on a Saturday night (kidding of course) then you go on to tell us this gruesome yet awesome dream to have of not wanting to meet you maker by your insides falling out basically but ho you say this is magical and none to us want to perish before out times or as the beast before the last row petal falls, I like that part as is does remind me of beauty and the beast.
2/ The imagery here is astounding. Hey sands a bit tch though as it hurts like hell and I know it's not literal but I bet grown men would blame sand particles being in their eyes when they're teary so they don't look/feel less manly. Love the word lacerated.
3/ This is real deep because it shows how empowering the darkness actually is and it is because once we've bathed in darkness it's hard to wash it away again?.
4/ I like this part because I can imagine you raising your hand, pointing your finger and saying in the calmest of voices "and you" in a accusative way lol but yes I agree we do kiss others without acknowledging exactly where they've been and with whom we just kiss becasue it's good and satisfies the feelings of loneliness, in my opinion but as long as it hurts no one who cares
5/ love the ending because it says you've wished once and you'll wish again no doubt more than once.
Mr Pickard! How dare you amaze the internet with your wonderful words of poetry! How very dare you make me love the structure of this piece, where the layout of the words tell as much of the story as the deep and exquisitely real meanings they carry! And most of all, how dare you make me click that 'Like' button many times, knowing in all frustration that it'll only give you 1 damn Like!!
Really, a great piece of work good Sir, as always. Thank you for sharing it with us all.
May only the best be your company, wherever you may go :)
Okay, Ben, I am getting the same reaction as Maher but I will try to calm down. Actually, I'd like to ask the same how dare you thing! :-) This piece took me deep, deep, deep into the recesses of the heart that is wishing...and wishing...and I feel that longing so much. The pang of that heart...kills me.