It’s the case of less is more with this short but evocative piece. Brenda commented as this poem being “Hauntingly beautiful” I think that is a very apt description. There is certainly something very haunting within this poem (in a good sense) it has depth and clarity that is hard to achieve but something you have accomplished seemingly effortlessly. I’m not sure you need the brackets around the last verse but that’s a minor distraction in the context of the overall effect of the poem. Great work.
For a short and simple piece this seriously knocked my socks off this week. There was a ton of personality packed into each and every single word. There is a sense of compassion in this that doesn't take the form of any particular relationship style, but it is inviting nonetheless. Absolutely beautiful write with spot on wicked skills.