Comments : A View To Make The Snow Melt (tanka)

  • 4 months ago

    by Jamie

    Ben,

    I truly love this piece. I feel the tanka is a fairly difficult form to write well, and you did an excellent job here. The structure of the works out well to use the writers imagination to do as this wish to. And i love poems yhat leave the reader wondering at the end, i feel this poem does that well.

    This is a poem that i believe a lot of readers could imagine the meaning being a few different things. But here are my thoughts:

    I think what you explain here is that you have been on top of the world, being on top of a mountain i imagine is a metaphor for that, and being in views of wonder, means that you have lived a good a fulfilled life. But this person has come into your life and nothing is as beautiful or leaves you as fulfilled as this person does. (And tbh one could think of a pet, or a child as well) but i think its love. And the key is naked beauty :). But overall this is a great metaphor and is well written. Oh and

    PS. I love the title. It works well to fit the metaphor of the poem.

    • 4 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thank you, Jamie; great comment.

  • 4 months ago

    by Brenda

    Beautiful Tanka Ben! Well written, is there nothing you can't do, lol?

    • 4 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thank you, Brenda and in answer to your question: Yes! A depressing amount of things in fact, lol

  • 4 months ago

    by Ren

    An absolutely stunning write, Ben.

    |LOVE BUTTON|

  • 4 months ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Love this Benny.. :) Well done

  • 4 months ago

    by Ben

    Ben,

    you make me sick, added to favs to perv over later.

    Ben

    • 4 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Ben, your comments have cheered me immensely this morning, so thank you, lol

    • 4 months ago

      by Ren

      Ben's comment...lol

  • 4 months ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    okay - unrelated to the poem (Sorry Ben), but does anyone chuckle at Ben talking to Ben?!
    I imagine Benny sitting there with his PC open and his Ipad or Laptop open just commenting back and forth then saying to himself out loud "congratulations on the funny comment Ben"... Like all this time its just the one Ben!

    - Obviously its not but it was just a funny passing thought I had seeing Ben and Ben...

    • 4 months ago

      by Ren

      Hahaha this is awesome...yes I definitely find myself giggling at the Ben's and their comments lol

    • 4 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Naomi, you have me clocked...and I was having such fun!

    • 4 months ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      haha !! Sorry Em for making you nearly choke!! and sorry Benny (and Ben) for spilling the beans :P

  • 4 months ago

    by Em

    Wow wow wow I am speechless and Naomi that commented I nearly choked on my food haha

  • 4 months ago

    by Tony

    Beautiful poem.

    After "diving" into these comments, the "Bens" have given me "the bends"

    • 4 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      lol, Tony. Thank you, good man.