Comments : Insomniacs Purgatory

  • 1 year ago

    by mossgirl19

    Ren! What a captivating write! I have been past that place, hehe, cause I actually have work during the night and sleep during the day. Times when all you do is stare at the moon at wish that it will lull you to sleep. :-) Beautiful piece.

    • 1 year ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so very much!! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment :) This is why I actually preferred working nights, as well, lol. Just easier cause I'm going to be awake anyway!

  • 1 year ago

    by Michael

    Ren
    I love this little piece sadly though, as I know this myself. I worry about trying to sleep!
    Great write

    Michael :)x

    • 1 year ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much Michael! :)

  • 1 year ago

    by Em

    I know this feeling all too well and the one where you dozed downstairs then go to bed and bam... Wide awake lol

    Great little piece

    • 1 year ago

      by Ren

      Thank you, Em! Yes I hate that lol. Why can I randomly put my head down on the kitchen table and drift off but can't sleep in my own bed when I'm supposed to? Oh life is funny sometimes...

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Ah, Ren, I've been in that very same purgatory myself on more than one occasion. Like all the other purgatories I hear about, it's far from amusing, is it?

    Great piece,

    Ben

    • 1 year ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Ben! :) and yes...very far from amusing.

  • 1 year ago

    by Lyical Madness

    Very relatable & well written, great job xx

    • 1 year ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much!! :)

  • 1 year ago

    by Lvi

    That feeling is so irritating.

    A nice little write, Ren.

    • 1 year ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much Lvi!!

  • 1 year ago

    by Jamie

    I really enjoy this piece. Because like a lot of people i can relate to this. I find a lot of times a simple poem structure is the best and you did well here. The rhyming and the wording work well through out to convey the message you are writing.

    This seems to be about a person who has trouble sleeping (obviously) but... there is a hidden meaning as to why in my opinion. Being restless to me means you are overthinking about a lot in your head and that leaves you frustrated. You try to count sheep (an old but good cliche), but nothing seems to help you. I like the emotion you bring to each stanza here. The first half, you are more on the sad side, but the second half you seem to relax a little more because you accept the fate of not being able to sleep.

    I thought the title worked well too. Because it is true that not being able to sleep is purgatory to most. Even if you are a night person. But its always a battle. Anyways great write overall!

    • 1 year ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much for reading and for your excellent comment, Jamie! I appreciate it!

  • 1 year ago

    by Brenda

    Ren, I totally identify with this as I am sure a lot of us do on this site. Nicely rhymed throughout. Well done-

    • 1 year ago

      by Ren

      Thank you very much Brenda!

  • 1 year ago

    by Maher

    Insomnia is a real common thing these days isn't it? And the weird thing is that our ideas to write about it often come while it's happening.

    I really like this poem, but there's one really cool thing about it that stuck out for me: there's more syllables in each line at the end of the poem than at the beginning. It kind of reinforces the idea that attempting to sleep is getting harder and harder the more you try. Whether you consciously did that or not doesn't matter. What matters is that it's there and that it adds a little hidden gem for us to find, which is something I'm a big fan of.

    The title would also make for an awesome band name!

    Thanks for sharing your work with us all :)

    • 1 year ago

      by Ren

      Hahaha that's awesome!! I didn't even think about that. I better get this band going then before someone beats me to it!

      Thank you so very much for taking the time to read this and leaving such an insightful and amazing comment. I really appreciate it! I didn't even notice the thing about the syllables but that is really cool that you noticed it and I'm glad you were able to find and enjoy that! That's what I love about poetry is everyone experiences something different while reading it and notice things that not everyone does, even the writer.

      Thanks again! :)

  • 1 year ago

    by DarkLight

    I'm familiar with the feeling.

    Beautiful write.

    • 1 year ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much!

  • 1 year ago

    by Alec

    This is amazing. If I had the power to nominate I would. The rhyme is flawless. Short, sweet, and relatable.
    -Alec

    Edit: Nevermind! Its nominated!

    • 1 year ago

      by Ren

      Thank you so much Alec!! I appreciate it!!

  • 1 year ago

    by Tony

    I visit this purgatory almost every night. Even with ''assistance'' its hard for me to catch a good night's rest. And the ''assistance'' causes some pretty vivid loopy dreams.

    Needless to say, well written relatable piece.

    • 1 year ago

      by Ren

      Thank you very much, Tony! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. I visit almost every night as well, and I agree about the "assistance", too. I had a hard time handling the crazy dreams, since my dreams are already crazy. It got weird.

  • 1 year ago

    by nani

    God I love this. Your poetry is so simple and spot on perfect!

    Nani

    • 1 year ago

      by Ren

      Aww thank you so much girl!! I really appreciate it! :)

  • 1 year ago

    by Poetess

    Love this. Perfect little read at 3:30AM lol

    • 1 year ago

      by Ren

      Aww, thank you so much! I feel ya! lol

  • 1 year ago

    by Tony

    Look how much buzz this is generating!

    • 1 year ago

      by Ren

      :D I am so surprised! But so very grateful!!

    • 1 year ago

      by Alec

      Im not surprised lol