Your Songs Won't Save Us

by Ben Pickard   Jun 17, 2017


I dried the rain and flushed the storm
And so, in time, new dreams were born
In oceans and in valleys deep,
I took the final, daring leap
And there were more - those just like me -
Who seem to fight and disagree
With all they have and so they came
To quell that all consuming flame
We swam the streams and trod the waves
And filled our decomposing graves
We left them bare - just hollow tombs -

But I can feel the darkness loom.

They can't, it seems; they think it doused:
But Life, the cat, and I, the mouse...
So strike a match and sing a song!

but look again, and I am gone.

--

Ben Pickard 2017

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Latest Comments

  • 1 month ago

    by Someone Invisible

    Sometimes it takes some time for me to get into a poem. Sometimes I have to re-read a poem a few times in order to retain any meaning or interest in it. This was not one of those times. I love the very first line. My second favourite part is

    They can't, it seems; they think it doused:
    But Life, the cat, and I, the mouse...
    So strike a match and sing a song!

    because its ominous but it trickily cheerful sounding. I think that sometimes Life is something that happens to us but mice are adaptable and can make life what they want sometimes as well. I really like the analogy.

    But look again, and I am gone.

    Water is such a powerful force. Fire is seemingly only destructive. Your brought both of these elements into your piece and I know this is supposed to be a dark poem but I think it has the potential to be a very Light poem as well. But look again, and I am gone. You've moved on from these water logged and fire razed parts. While they are still there. You filled your graves Ben, you are no longer just laying there to die, and I personally think that is a very not Dark thing to write about.

    I'm sorry I know this comment isn't very coherent but I haven't really slept in 2 days and it's almost midnight. Mainly, your poem caught me like a fish on a hook. I really enjoyed reading it.

    • 1 month ago

      by Ben Pickard

      perfectly coherent - many thanks for your time and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

  • 4 months ago

    by Kereen

    Beautiful. Love how this flows

  • 4 months ago

    by Ren

    Simply amazing, Ben!! Excellent write!

  • 4 months ago

    by Michael

    Ben

    Great rhyming piece of writing, all wrapped in poetic art

    nice one

    Michael

  • 4 months ago

    by AngelaLuisaCory

    Amazingly beautiful and very thought provoking. Sometimes life is like a cat .... I liked the allusion to striking a match and singing a song - why does that mean so much to me - I feel it's to do with a song you once told me about... Well done again - could I be any prouder of you...X

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