This is excellent, Milly. Certainly dark, but really good.
It's funny, I just read a book called 'The Husband's secret' (my wife recommended it) and it has a similar theme: A good woman, beautiful, who seemed to twist the man who loved her into this dreadful, jealous monster. I won't ruin it, just in case!
All the best as ever,
Wow what a lovely surprise. I just logged on and found so many lovely comments. Thank you so much you really made my day. I'm trying to explore different ways of writing so this is a wonderful response. Thanks again everyone for all the lovely feedback xx
Nice work Milly, dark indeed, I especially liked those last lines; Devil rubs his hands with glee
there's nowhere left for you to flee
life's unravelling with just cause
murder by the hand that's yours
In life we can be self haters and our own worst enemies, the Devil to please!
So much Talent in the UK, Nice work!
This is a well constructed and rhymed piece dear Milly. Darkness is incurable as it should be if you kill someone_ specially someone beautiful out of the ugliness and envy -
This reminds me of the Salieri's tormented conscience at the end of the Milos Forman's master piece:: Amadeus. The incurable darkness in this movie is frightening, ( like in your piece) when during his confession to the priest in the end of his life, he reveals, that how he tormented the Mozart's soul systematically, to the death, only because he was more talented than him.
A huge thanks to everyone who voted for me and for Naomi for nominating. I've never had so many votes for a poem pre competition and it means more than the world that people liked it so much. Thank you again for all your kind comments and support. Milly xx