JUDGES COMMENT: Milly always has a beautiful way with words even in such a dark piece like this and there's always a simplicity but very wonderful thing about her work that I personally think is unique and gripping from start to finish. The rhyming is far from forced which makes for a fantastic write as I am partial to a rhyming piece especially when it's so well written like this. And I feel this subject matter shouldn't be taboo anymore as it happens all too often
Milly, this was posted before I joined the site, but I've just come across it and I'm not surprised it won!
The title lets the reader know that the poem is going to be dark - and it doesn't disappoint!
1) Murder is introduced with 'blood' and 'knife' as the night falls and someone must have died as the 'afterlife' is already taunting the murderer.
2) The murderer remembers the one he's killed - he feels it's justified in some way "with just cause"
3) lots of information in this stanza ... we learn that he killed a kind and beautiful woman and that jealousy was the 'cause'
4) as she lays in the soil where the murderer has burred her, he/she reflects on her black spirit and understands that the deed of murder will not remove the hate ... but it's not clear whether they hate themselves or her ...
5) this is an objective stanza, detailing how those murdered take their revenge, that no amount of pleading or begging will get forgiveness
6) this final stanza brilliantly repeats the last two lines of the second stanza, but gives an entirely different meaning ...
"life's unravelling with just cause
murder by the hand that's yours"
this time, rather than the murderer feeling justified in taking the woman's life due to jealousy, it's the devil now exacting that same revenge on the murderer for killing her.
A brilliant, twisty piece with impeccable rhyming that takes the reader on a satisfying journey and comes a full circle ... I love it! :-) x