Comments : Too Dark Out There (senryu)

  • 4 months ago

    by Hope

    I understand the mystery of this.....the darkness seems brighter.

  • 4 months ago

    by mossgirl19

    Ben, I think of my room! It is indeed so much brighter and so much safer inside. If I have a choice I don't want to leave its four walls. :-)

    I have to agree it is indeed a tragic reality. A lovely write, Ben and one so relatable.

  • 4 months ago

    by Em

    Ben.. now this is what I'm talking about (lol) I totally get this and though I am petrified of the dark for reasons not many people understand it brings a much better comfort than having to open up the curtains, the door and even ourselves to the world and people around us or even better than having to go out and face the stupidity of the world we now live in.. social anxiety (well any anxiety) is a beeeeeeeep!!

    Very clever Mr Pickard.

    Em

  • 4 months ago

    by Jamie

    Instantly added to my favorites. If no one nominates this tomorrow before i can i will.

    Holy crap Ben. The metaphor is perfect here. Love the title so much because it could mean so many things. You don't really know until you read the poem itself. In my mind it could be the world, or the title could mean through the eyes of a child talking about the place they live, depression etc. Then you get to the poem..

    And to me you are talking about the world outside metaphorically. There is not a lot of imagery per se, but me being me i can see someone who is living with anxiety and or depression closing the curtains and feel that sigh of relief wash through their body. It really is a great metaphor because the world we live in now is very dark. And we all have to protect ourselves and be our own light.

    Well done

    • 4 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Exactly, Jamie. Many thanks for your time.

  • 4 months ago

    by Michael

    Very, very clever Ben. Nothing else to say :)

    Michael

  • 4 months ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Benny - em has broken this to pieces before anyone could get in. Well done..

  • 4 months ago

    by Maher

    I don't even like senryus but this is great. I'd say more, but I'd just be repeating what others have already commented and I don't want to be 'that guy'. Nice one, Mr Pickard. Thanks for sharing :)

  • 4 months ago

    by Jamie

    Officially nominated!

  • 4 months ago

    by Ren

    (<3) just gonna drop a few of these here...

  • 4 months ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Cleverly written and powerful x

  • 3 months ago

    by mossgirl19

    Congrats on your win, Ben! :-)

  • 3 months ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Well done on a well deserved win x

  • 3 months ago

    by Ren

    Congrats on the win!

    • 3 months ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thanks, Ren. I hope you're well.

  • 3 months ago

    by Meena Krish

    This really applies so well to life its when truth hits
    you straight in the heart and you realize how blind
    one has been..well penned and Congrats on the Win!

  • 3 months ago

    by Nightmare Scenario

    Job well done mate

  • 2 months ago

    by Britt

    Judging comments: I love that the writer used the tragic emotion - so many people would love the light to come in, but he understands the only way it can happen is through transparency, vulnerable, openness that one isn't exactly ready for or comfortable in. Beautiful little piece of poetry that made me think. Well done!

  • 2 weeks ago

    by Em

    JUDGES COMMENT: Here we have one of many poems nominated of Ben's this week and for me this stood out more than his others because not many short pieces especially this exceptional get much praise (if memory serves me right) and this one like many of Ben's pieces felt like I could have written it myself because it's too relatable and his mood always seems to mirror mine and many others on this site. I do believe this piece says alot in the three lines (four with the title) allocated to the form. Depression has a way of making us feel all alone in a group of loved ones yet makes us happy when we are actually alone and able to shut out the word just as this piece suggests.