Judges

You talk about that day, and my gut wrenches.
You say..you will never get over,
the things he did to you.
That you will always have fear;
making my heart shatter ten fold.

How do I accept the burden, I placed on you?
How do I face the mirror, knowing it was me,
that did this...to you?

How can I be so selfish,
thinking of how I have to live with this?
How can you forgive me,
and still tell me you love me?

How can I fix the biggest mistake I ever made?
How do I live with this regret?

You're always so willing to forgive,
and so right, to never forget.
How can I ever make it up to you?

The only thing I can do...is to make you a promise.

A promise that I will never forget how I betrayed your trust.
I will never forget the pain I caused you.
I will never forget the burden you carry, because of me.
I will never forget how awful of a sister I am.

A promise that I will always be there for you,
the way I should have been.
That I will never let anyone, including me, hurt you again.

A promise that I will honour to my death.

You may have forgiven me...but I could never forgive myself.
I will always remember what I did.

I am the judge of my life, despite those who will judge me.
My judgement is the only one I deserve, and with it,
a life sentence of torture; remembering.

I do not deserve to forget.
I do not even deserve your forgiveness.
But I shall remain here in this world,
spending my life, keeping my promise.