Mark the sentiment in this one brings one into sadness and nostalgia. The way it flowed into the soul...ahhh it brought many hurts into the surface. Great job again here!
6 months ago
Mark as usual a very profound and honest write in my opinion which I have come to expect from you as you were probably aware.
The title was very thought provoking especially as I have asked myself this many times.
1/ This is very hard hitting and at first I wondered why there wasn't - is it because this isn't about you but someone else ie someone who feels their house indeed isn't a home or that the person you write of is homeless maybe which is unfortunate but isn't rare these days but then I read it again and it was written in first person so I feel this is infact about you and though you have a home to go to you feel it's more of an house than a home so to speak... I'm not sure.
2/ This is sad and at first I thought you'd misspelled mournings and it should have been mornings as is you only sleep in the day because of nightshifts then I read on and realised it was correct and my heart broke a little but I guess many of us can relate because comforts us (so they say) when we are masked with darkness. The image you paint here is astoundingly sad but beautiful all the same. I also love the way you linked in afremov here, well played.
3/ very sad indeed
4/ Again, the imagery here is fantastic because I can just picture being in this scene sat on the train as it stops and starts allowing people to get on and off though I personally think there's another reason for this part as in you're the train and people feel they can jump on and off you whenever they feel like it no doubt when their own problems are solved thus not giving a hoot nevermind two about your troubles or indeed passing theirs onto you too or is it just that the train scenario - either way very clever.
5/ This is extremely saddening that people still judge others on the colour of their skins and say these horrendous words. I've heard and seen it and it never gets easier so must be difficult being told that but I believe these people should wash their mouths.
6/ What a very powerful ending. I have no words, I'm in bits because this I extremely powerful.
All the best
5 months ago
How do you do this every time? This is beautiful.
5 months ago
Home is here(pnq).
This is your soil, your only soil, and you have the nutrients too.
So keep on planting your poems here everyday. And when we smell the flowers on those poems, our mournings will become
I could've sworn I already left a comment on this??
That train imagery is so eloquently written. I wrote something about that but now I forget. Anyway...
"i wish I could tell you, / that the monotony ceased long ago, / but it hasn't"
This part reminds me so much of my anxiety. People credit time as a healer but I guess even its capabilities also have a limit. Also applicable to depression and such.
"the homeless man outside of tim horton’s
eagerly holds the door open for me
most days, slips other days, telling me
‘go back to your own country. go back home’"
Reading this again today, these lines still hold that crippling effect it had on me the first time I read this. It made me feel guilty, but my mind tells me I've done nothing wrong. I love written works like that - when emotions are stirred inside of you that weren't even your own to begin with. Dwelling more on this homeless man part, I can't help but think that when he says such unkind things, it's his unfortunate circumstance speaking. Because there are still days when he "eagerly holds the door open for [you]". We can't really blame them. Where I'm from, the homeless population is growing and it's heartbreaking when you want to do something to change it but what you do is not enough. It has to be a community effort.
If you ask me, the final stanza isn't as gripping as the part I highlighted above. It's still very well written and it could just be me. I mean I could see why you needed to end it that way and it sort of doesn't leave the reader with as heavy a feeling if you ended it with the previous one. Still the sad atmosphere, more of the throbbing, incessant kind that we'll never get used to despite how long we've known its company.