Comments : The Mirror of the Witch

  • 1 month ago

    by Milly Hayward

    It's surprising how we each perceive in our reflections. It often differs greatly from how we are perceived by others. An interesting piece especially the last stanza where despite her self dislike there was at last a spark of vanity on recognising the witch in her. Well done. Milly x

  • 1 month ago

    by Mark

    Hey Mel - really like this! I felt her self discomfort and enjoyed the comparisons between her hair and how she felt. Great twist at the end and creative use of 'witch'

  • 1 month ago

    by Mark

    Hey Mel - really like this! I felt her self discomfort and enjoyed the comparisons between her hair and how she felt. Great twist at the end and creative use of 'witch'

  • 1 month ago

    by Brenda

    Lady Mel, an interesting write. I had more questions than answers and it intrigues me. She's a "seductress" but in everyday life she's bored and stuck in her ways. Does she just seduce in her head? Does she want to break out and be that witch? Fascinating...

  • 1 month ago

    by Lucifer

    I am already under your spell.!
    Spell of your poems which you post every week.
    I love it to be in this beautiful spell.
    Do not release me ever, keep on posting.

  • 1 month ago

    by Kitty Cat Lady

    Ooh Mel ... twisty! I love the dissonance you portray between how she usually looks and how she can look if she wore her hair down, the lipstick, the dress etc.
    How his kiss clearly moved her but she was unable to respond to him in a way she wanted to.
    He's a forbidden love maybe? She can't have him because she's "twisted into one place" ... but he's causing the "tangled mess of her head" ... she wants to be the witch, the seductress for him, but must be her "dull, laid-back" self?
    I love how much this made me think! Brilliant piece! added to faves x
    =^.^=

  • 1 month ago

    by Michael

    Miss Mel

    What a wonderful story, of entwining fantasy with reality (maybe?..
    Really well put together :)

    Much love

    Michael

  • 1 month ago

    by RustySoul

    Another wonderful poem Mel. Superb :)

  • 1 month ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Mel - stunning poem.. Well done

  • 1 month ago

    by Em

    I have to admit to reading this a few times to get my interpretation and I have to say what a fantastic piece very strong yet raw in my opinion

  • 1 month ago

    by Milo

    The mirror and the reflection of ourselves can be deceiving. Not just to anyone else but especially to ourselves. The convoluted, confusing and sometimes awe inspiring reflection of how we see ourselves to the world can be wonderful and terrible at the same time.

    I imagine a witch in a fantastical situation that deceives you in the mirror, making you unaware of the struggles of vanity and beauty a woman has to go through if she is subjected to lack of confidence and self worth. This temptress whispering to you, letting you imagine the fantasies of what you can be (the relationship with your pillow) compared to what you really are (unresponsiveness when kissed) allows you to dig your vained rabbit hole even deeper, separating yourself even further from the realities of you and what you see in the mirror. To witness this separation through your vivid and alluring skillsets as a writer is a good kick in the door in writing darker fantastical narratives.

    What can I say that you already know, you like making me read your poems with envy and in awe. It's what you do. Can't wait to read your next dark poem :).

    I'm not good criticizing but if you want to capitalize your already good looking poem, build up on the narrative, creating darker pieces as you take us along this dysfunctional dynamic of "separation." You can add how the witch plunges the storyteller into this deeper psychosis of vanity, maybe she starts to cut her hair too short making her bleed from the scalp when she thinks she's only trimming and it's getting better in her deception?

    She thinks she is putting on mascara beautifying her good looks when she is actually taking sandpaper underneath her eyes? The mascara turns to the color red and she is completely confused and taken back why the mascara is running down her face when according to the mirror (her psychosis) she is not crying for this to happen, representing both the blood of the damage from the sandpaper and the crying response of her true reflection to the world? I know it can get darker but indulge in the emotionality of what woman has to go through when she thinks she's beautiful when actually she is struggling to just be her; her conflicted and difficult relationship of vanity and self worth and the struggles of that pain she goes through on a daily basis? You can create alluring and very dark metaphors of self destruction when she thinks she is making herself better? Just ideas.

    Thank you.

    • 1 month ago

      by mossgirl19

      That's why I wanted you to read this and give your opinion... Hehe. I really appreciate the time, Milo! Your insight means a lot, since I am trying on this genre. Yes, I will surely explore more on the darker side of the story, write a deeper piece next time! :-)

  • 1 month ago

    by Ren

    My sweetest Mel...this is some phenomenal writing!! So glad to see it nominated!

    "She loathed her braided hair;
    Twisted into one place, like herself."
    ^^
    I absolutely love these lines...well done dear Lady!!

    • 1 month ago

      by mossgirl19

      Thank you my sweet, glad you liked it! :-)

      Thank you all for your wonderful comments.

  • 1 month ago

    by Sai

    > "She loathed her braided hair; / Twisted into one place, like herself."
    > "Dull, laid-back; like herself."

    About a couple of years ago, there was this girl in school that was a year behind me. I didn't hate her but I didn't like her as well, and this seemed to come from my gut. She seemed nice enough, never did anything wrong to me. Something about her just did not sit well with me. Some time later, I realised it was probably because some parts of herself reminded me too much of myself.

    I like reading stuff like this, when they can take us back to a place in the past that we've shoved in the back of our minds and it's forgotten but apparently it's still there, all harmless and quiet.

  • 4 weeks ago

    by Michael

    Well done Miss Mel on your win, really pleased for you
    Much love
    Michael :)

    • 4 weeks ago

      by mossgirl19

      Thank you, Michael. Wow, this is totally unexpected.

  • 4 weeks ago

    by Kitty Cat Lady

    Yay! Congratulations Mel, this was such a well deserved win xx
    =^.^=

  • 4 weeks ago

    by Mark

    Congratulations Mel!

  • 4 weeks ago

    by Brenda

    Lady Mel, congratulations to you! Wonderful front page write!

  • 4 weeks ago

    by CJ Maleney

    Fantastic poem and Brill to read.

    By the way he you know a witch can you send her my way to sort my bloody knee out.

    I shall pay in beer and frogs lol

    Honestly well done you.

    • 4 weeks ago

      by mossgirl19

      Haha...she's on her way. :-)

      Thanks, Craig.

  • 4 weeks ago

    by stormingdance (Jessica)

    Captivating! Congrats on the win!

  • 4 weeks ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    CONGRATS ON THE WIN!!!