Comments : The Flowers Curdled (English sonnet)

  • 4 weeks ago

    by Kitty Cat Lady

    Ben, your cup runneth over! This is brilliant ... beautiful metaphors, sad and sorrowful ... the couplet especially poignant. Love it x
    =^.^=

  • 4 weeks ago

    by Meena Krish

    For once I'm first to comment!

    I like this and the flow of the Sonnet just flowed
    like water . There is depth, feeling and a sigh for both
    reader and writer...well done!

    I have this habit while reading a Sonnet poem to tap
    my fingers as I read them for the syllable count then
    re-read again anyways , this line:

    Now curdle under flames and poisonous smoke.

    ^^this has 11 syllabus whereas the rest as 10...poisonous
    is 3 syllable...

    Keep penning Sonneteer!

    • 4 weeks ago

      by Ben Pickard

      I saw that, Meena, but thought I could get away with it as it sounds like 10 while reading, lol.

      Thanks and take care

  • 4 weeks ago

    by Hope

    great poem....I feel the weight in the questions of love. Keep writing.

  • 4 weeks ago

    by Brenda

    Ben, as always, amazing sonnet! As difficult as these are,yours always flow so beautifully. Well done!

  • 4 weeks ago

    by Free verse

    Really, There is no place for those whose love is choked -
    The grass, the flowers, meadows and the trees
    Now curdle under flames and blackened smoke.

    Touched

  • 4 weeks ago

    by Fredy

    The first 4 lines do an amazing job of setting up the sadness and sorrow of the whole piece... Amazing as always, Ben!

    • 3 weeks ago

      by Ben Pickard

      Thank you for your time, Fredy.

  • 4 weeks ago

    by CJ Maleney

    Really liked this Ben, pretty sad but I liked it.

    Regards

    Craig

  • 4 weeks ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Ben, I'll come back to this, though my first read shows its well worth being nominated for the weekly contest. If the judges appreciate sonnets, you'll stand a decent chance.

  • 4 weeks ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    Dear Ben this is deep and honestly it may take me awhile to comment. This sounds like a winner. Take care.

  • 3 weeks ago

    by CRAFTY KEN

    Good work Ben, when love is lost it brings to one a great cost. You played out the range of emotions, self guilt, things that you could have done. It seems that the partner was not as engaged, as the broken one tried different methods to entice but all was in vain, even Nature had to also suffer the blame. Spot on!
    Added to my Favorites.