I need a night off from trying to be anything.
I love feeling.
I love people.
Meeting people, finding people, discovering people.
Stupidly i love impressing people.
I miss saying yes to everything, just because i had no-one.
Is anyone really who they say they are? I bet everyone wants to break and say f**k this, i want THIS!
Where's passion? I bet passion is always pushed aside. Real, deep, raw, real passion.
Some music brings me right to me. I love that. That's the best music.
My mind never stops going crazy trying to figure everything out, trying to say what is right or wrong or quite ok or normal or natural or f**king anything you want to explain or justify. My head never stops going over it all over again.
I want to be out of my box and in my mind. Where my little daydreams take me. Stupid simple easy places which are limited by every day procrastination.
I'm drinking whisky because i feel like I'm doing something. Not because I'm in a whisky bar, or celebrating, or 'out out', or dancing, or at a party - I'm drinking for drinking sake.
Tomorrow i want to enjoy the sun, have a workout, figure everything out. The same as most days.
What makes the difference though? What makes the day where I'll actually figure something out, or change something?
Right now, to solve tonight, all it is, is either whisky or sleep.
All the goodness i could have right now, at just gone midnight on a Saturday night, is coming down to lonely honest hidden thoughts, and whisky or sleep.