I like to be alone with my thoughts

by Jamie   Oct 3, 2017

I wonder if forgiveness can be
bought like love or is it just given
like abuse?

I wonder if every night will be like
this with me crying under my blanket
pretending to be invisible, hoping that
for once i won't confide with excuses
on how i got these bruises. However-

tonight my thoughts were unanswered.

A sigh quivers from blistered lips as i
prepare to fight my own battle and lose
again. I am just a child though, but i guess
everyday is war inside my own mind. Maybe
this is punishment for touching myself to
give myself a taste of pleasure just once-

to feel anything but pain. I wish i believed that.

I may kick and scream but duct tape works
wonders to silence the emotions that i let out.
i just hope they will be fast tonight, I'm really tired.
Can you really forgive 14 years of pain though?


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Latest Comments

  • 1 week ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Powerful. I'm trying to find words to explain how I feel about forgiveness... sometimes I go back and forth. Like I was taught and understand it can be a form of healing, and it's good to not be bitter, but there ARE certain things in my life that are unforgivable and inexcusable. If I let that person back into my life and get close, it would only be a matter of time.

    I hope writing about this helped ease some of the pain. Your feelings are valid and no one can take that away from you.

  • 1 week ago

    by Free verse

    So true Jamie, everyday is a war inside my own mind.
    Welcome back, brother.

  • 1 week ago

    by Mark

    Welcome back Jamie. This is a deep write with a profound effect on me.

  • 1 week ago

    by mossgirl19

    I really envy how you expressed this feeling so accurately... in one way or another I have been there and sometimes still find myself back there. You are a strong person...it takes a lot of strength to be raw and honest about what you undergo. I'm glad this is nominated and more glad that you are back on the site. :-)

    • 1 week ago

      by Ren

      I absolutely agree! Much love to you Jamie!

  • 1 week ago

    by CJ Maleney

    Jesus dude.

    Total respect for penning this


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