I really envy how you expressed this feeling so accurately... in one way or another I have been there and sometimes still find myself back there. You are a strong person...it takes a lot of strength to be raw and honest about what you undergo. I'm glad this is nominated and more glad that you are back on the site. :-)
Powerful. I'm trying to find words to explain how I feel about forgiveness... sometimes I go back and forth. Like I was taught and understand it can be a form of healing, and it's good to not be bitter, but there ARE certain things in my life that are unforgivable and inexcusable. If I let that person back into my life and get close, it would only be a matter of time.
I hope writing about this helped ease some of the pain. Your feelings are valid and no one can take that away from you.