Milly this is wonderful rhyming poetry! I appreciate the references to over logging and animal hunting. It seems the philosophical problem of evil weighs heavily on you. Also divine absence as a saviour admist the devil's works I think is noted in the fourth stanza
Yet it ultimately doesn't deter you from faith in a gods existence as you still pray to him in the last. Hope i was close! Great write Milly!
Thank you Mark. I have to confess the way the world is going with such disregard for nature, animals and innocent human life I often feel ashamed to be counted as human. I appreciate your kind comments. Milly x
Thanks Ben, I really appreciate your kind comments and encouragement. As you know I only joined in Feb 2016 and jumped in pretty much as a beginner. I think regularly reading of different styles of poetry and thinking about their compositions for commenting has really helped in the growth of my poetry. thanks again. Best wishes Milly x
Milly, first of all I want to talk about the length of the poem.
I think a rhyming poem should be between 4-6 stanzas.
sometimes it becomes awkward for the reader to read the poem with few more stanzas, no matter how good the poem is.
Throughout the poem, you mentioned how we are becoming evil.
Forgetting the good inside us, the human part of ourselves and focusing on the doing evil things for our fun or curiosity.
How we are imbalancing the nature.
Like river are becoming dry and turning into desert and we are left with sand in our hand.
No water, no irrigated land, no agriculture, no crops.
What will we eat or drink, sand?
We will suffocate and see our dear ones suffering the same.
That's why you pray to God, either cleanses our mind, show us the path towards humanity or take your far away from here to a better place where there are no killings of animals or trees, where there is love.
Because here you find no chance of escaping from the evil or devil.
He plays tricks with our minds.
Or rides our minds and Forces us to do evil things.
And we are becoming his puppet.
These killings, imbalancing of the nature will only lead us to the Armageddon of this beautiful planet, we call our home.
This is what devil wants. He wants to destroy God's most precious creation..
He wants to steal humanity from us.
But I think instead of escaping, we should come together and give a tough blow or punch on the face of devil and show him we really are God's most precious, reliable creation and we can also save this planet.
That's all from me.
Forgive me, if I said anything wrong.
Dear Black Hole, thank you so much for taking the time to write such a lovely long comment. I'm very pleased that you liked it enough to do so. Please don't worry about saying anything wrong. It's always a pleasure and very refreshing to see one of my poems through the eyes of another.
Take care and thank you for your comments which I have forwarded to be praised. Best wishes Milly x
An interesting piece that seems in its entirety to be an allegory alluding to the human race being the Devil. I don't believe in god, but we are akin to a virus on this planet and I agree with your words. The strongest verse here to me was "Hope shinest not, through this dark night" ... though using the word "shinest" kind of broke me out of the piece's world for a moment.