Just Behind

by C Cattaway   Oct 18, 2017


If I could choose to be the strong one,
Then why wouldn't I?
And why can't I just own my pain?
Aren't I allowed to cry?

But when do I get to wake up?
Coz I'm stuck in this nightmare.
I didn't ask to feel like this.
I just needed you there.

I would have been as much or little
If only you'd asked.
It's only in the wording, and now
I'm left with this mask

To hold upon my face, to hide
The tears I cannot stop.
I smile whenever I see you
But the bubble quickly pops.

Apparently, I'm happy when
You aren't even around.
I hadn't noticed that, myself.
It's what others have found.

How sad that I don't even know
When I can carry on!
For all I really wanted was
A future to be born

Out of the years of waiting. Hoping.
I yearned for that day,
And I thought we had reached it,
Then you snatched it all away.

I wish I could stop hurting.
I wish you could change your mind.
I wish I was the strong one.
Wish you'd see me, just behind.

Copyright C Cattaway 2017

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