Comments : Whiteout

  • 2 months ago

    by Brenda

    Kitty, I really liked this a lot! Your visuals were spot on. Very unique way of describing a lost relationship - way to go girl! Well done-

    • 2 months ago

      by Kitty Cat Lady

      aw thanks lovely lady! I really appreciate that x
      =^.^=

  • 2 months ago

    by Mark

    What a wonderful way describing someone's impenetrable heart. Love your work Kitty - in any style.

    • 2 months ago

      by Kitty Cat Lady

      Thanks so much Mark, lovely comments x
      =^.^=

  • 2 months ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    A wonderful allegoric piece, really putting forth the notion of a romantic ice age; a time where love has, once fiery and wholesome, now been overtaken by an end to the thawing season, winter setting in.

    Though being about lost love, the poem is just in time for some cold weather for some of us, contemporary and relevant. Great job!

    I wouldn't suggest changing it, as it might clog up your work, but I was just a tad offput by the lack of punctuation. Perhaps I'm just OCD though :-)

    IdTakeABulletForYou

    • 2 months ago

      by Kitty Cat Lady

      Thanks so much for your lovely comments Stephen :-)

      Regards to the punctuation, I'm pretty OCD about it myself. If you mean the lack of commas at the end of each line - I'm not sure there are any hard and fast rules for this within poetry, as each new line and stanza lends itself to a natural pause?
      I'd love to know what others think about this too though.

      Thanks Stephen :-)

      =^.^=

    • 2 months ago

      by IdTakeABulletForYou

      I'd be curious myself for someone else's input. I have always been good at naturally feeling rhyme and rhythm, but never really studied the specifics nor rules regarding poetry. Once I go to college after the military, hopefully I'll have the opportunity to do so.

      IdTakeABulletForYou

    • 2 months ago

      by CJ Maleney

      Punctuation in rhymes is an awkward one to nail down to specifics.

      Sometimes if you use punctuation in exactly the places you should it can mess with she flow. Not always but sometimes.

      Often I will insert am exclamation mark where one shouldn't necessarily be just to stress a point.

      Those who are well schooled in literature will probably be screaming at me but I simply think

      My poem, my words, my thoughts and feelings. My rules, so I just do what I feel like at the time.

      Probably totally the wrong attitude in the interests of self betterment lol

  • 2 months ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I like this, Kitty. The problem with free verse is that there is nothing to hide behind - no rhyme to distract the reader and so a lack of imagery/descriptive writing shows up like a sore thumb. You don't suffer that problem at all, good woman. This is an accomplished and rich piece of poetry with some good use of subtle alliteration along the way.

    All the best as ever,

    Ben

    • 2 months ago

      by Kitty Cat Lady

      Ah such wonderful comments Ben, thank you :-) x=^.^=

  • 2 months ago

    by CJ Maleney

    Really liked this piece not sure how I missed it. Favourites deffo

    Craig

  • 2 months ago

    by Michael

    Miss Kitty K

    A fine effort with a very different style from you :) So your free verse ink is going to start pouring from your pen. Look forward to the next one
    Well done lady
    Much love
    Michael x:)

    • 2 months ago

      by Kitty Cat Lady

      I really appreciate that Michael, thank you :-) x
      =^.^=

  • 2 months ago

    by Em

    My view: WOW!!

  • 2 months ago

    by AT

    Your first attempt is far far far better than my 9 attempts.
    So just keep on writing and bring more surprises for us.

    • 2 months ago

      by Kitty Cat Lady

      Shane, thanks so much for saying that - I really appreciate it :-) x
      =^.^=

  • 2 months ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Dynamic visuals and bbbrrrrr I feel cold just reading it. Certainly an excellent winter piece that has me scrambling for a nice warm log fire. Well done on being brave and trying a different style. It worked. Milly x

    • 2 months ago

      by Kitty Cat Lady

      Aw, I really appreciate your wonderful comments Milly, sorry to have made you chilly ... snuggle up! :-) x
      =^.^=

  • 2 months ago

    by mossgirl19

    Kitty I missed this one...first of all, great title here. As Milly puts it, everything written here is so cold I could freeze. This has excellently expressed the frozen heart you speak of...and all the cold things sorrounding it. I hope and believe love can still thaw it! Lovely.

    • 2 months ago

      by Kitty Cat Lady

      Such lovely comments Mel, thank you, and sorry for making you feel cold too ... lol x
      =^.^=