A wonderful allegoric piece, really putting forth the notion of a romantic ice age; a time where love has, once fiery and wholesome, now been overtaken by an end to the thawing season, winter setting in.
Though being about lost love, the poem is just in time for some cold weather for some of us, contemporary and relevant. Great job!
I wouldn't suggest changing it, as it might clog up your work, but I was just a tad offput by the lack of punctuation. Perhaps I'm just OCD though :-)
Thanks so much for your lovely comments Stephen :-)
Regards to the punctuation, I'm pretty OCD about it myself. If you mean the lack of commas at the end of each line - I'm not sure there are any hard and fast rules for this within poetry, as each new line and stanza lends itself to a natural pause?
I'd love to know what others think about this too though.
I'd be curious myself for someone else's input. I have always been good at naturally feeling rhyme and rhythm, but never really studied the specifics nor rules regarding poetry. Once I go to college after the military, hopefully I'll have the opportunity to do so.
Punctuation in rhymes is an awkward one to nail down to specifics.
Sometimes if you use punctuation in exactly the places you should it can mess with she flow. Not always but sometimes.
Often I will insert am exclamation mark where one shouldn't necessarily be just to stress a point.
Those who are well schooled in literature will probably be screaming at me but I simply think
My poem, my words, my thoughts and feelings. My rules, so I just do what I feel like at the time.
Probably totally the wrong attitude in the interests of self betterment lol
1 year ago
by Ben Pickard
I like this, Kitty. The problem with free verse is that there is nothing to hide behind - no rhyme to distract the reader and so a lack of imagery/descriptive writing shows up like a sore thumb. You don't suffer that problem at all, good woman. This is an accomplished and rich piece of poetry with some good use of subtle alliteration along the way.
Dynamic visuals and bbbrrrrr I feel cold just reading it. Certainly an excellent winter piece that has me scrambling for a nice warm log fire. Well done on being brave and trying a different style. It worked. Milly x
Kitty I missed this one...first of all, great title here. As Milly puts it, everything written here is so cold I could freeze. This has excellently expressed the frozen heart you speak of...and all the cold things sorrounding it. I hope and believe love can still thaw it! Lovely.