Comments : A Trick Of The Light? (syntuit)

  • 2 weeks ago

    by Jamie

    My first thought to the poem was being an alcoholic is difficult. And i still believe that to be true. But i believe that this poem holds something deeper than that. The first line confuses me a bit but the only thing i can think of is daylight savings time. I think it just hit me.

    The first line does represent savings time, and that even though you "saved" an hour the thing you drank is still gone in the same amount of time.

    I do like how you go deeper into this with emotions and the one word i will point out is bottle. In my mind as the reader I've heard bottle referred to as an alcoholic. I like the sadness you give the reader because if you look deeper, the bottle is this persons only friend and once its gone its gone for good.

    There is never enough drink or time.

    Very clever and well written.

    • 2 weeks ago

      by Ben Pickard

      That's right, Jamie; the idea is that even though the hour has gone back and there is less daylight, the bottle is still being finished by the time the sun has gone down - so even earlier than before.

  • 2 weeks ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Benny
    3 short lines, yet so intense and deep.

  • 2 weeks ago

    by Brenda

    Interesting write Ben. I sense the sadness of the empty bottle and a long night ahead, alone. Well done-

  • 2 weeks ago

    by C J T

    All good things come to an end eventually. Intense for only few words.

  • 2 weeks ago

    by Em

    very clever Ben..

    it seems that because we lost the hour to 'alcoholics' it doesn't matter much because that bottle will be gone come daybreak regardless... sad but extremely powerful.

    Take care,
    Em

  • 2 weeks ago

    by mossgirl19

    Is this any way connected to your love to drink, Ben? I think that this is quite heavy...bearing much meaning.

    • 2 weeks ago

      by Ben Pickard

      It is, Mel, but it is not entirely literal. I'm not a raving alcoholic yet, but by heaven, I'm working on it, dear woman!