Part Two

by deeplydesturbed   Nov 3, 2017


To my dearest daddy

Today you witnessed my pain reliever
The way I cut myself
Instead of being mad all you did was offer to help
You apologised over and over
For not seeing it all sooner

To my dearest daddy

Today I got out of the hospital again
You gathered me in your arms
You promised you’d be a better father
And were proud of how far I’d come
I saw the look of hurt return to your eyes

To my dearest daddy

Today you came home
and found me passed out drunk
you moved me to my bed
and emptied all the bottles in the house
I heard you rummaging around

To my dearest daddy

Today I turned sixteen
Instead of a huge party
We watched my sisters leave
Now in a huge house it’s just us lonely three
Your eyes are now constantly glazed over

To my dearest daddy

Today I watched you fight in court
I watched my mother laughing
As you lost the custody battle
You saw my sisters for the last time
I watched you go home again in tears

To my dearest daddy

Today I turned eighteen
These last few years a blur
You’ve been working longer hours
And barely coming home
I feel like I’ve lost my daddy

To my dearest daddy

Today I turned twenty one
Instead of celebrating I tried to take my own life
You came home and found me
I still remember it clearly
I can still remember the screams

    report violation
8


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Latest Comments

  • 6 years ago

    by Em

    <3

  • 6 years ago

    by Brenda

    Ok Nams, just like Lady Mel, I have read the first one but haven't commented yet. Still trying to process this. I think this is really a positive thing and a brave thing to do. It's good to get this out, purge the past, look forward to the future. You are incredibly strong, it takes a lot to go through what you have. Your dad sounds amazing! He truly loves you and just wants the best for you. I will comment more, I am at work right now buried in work, sigh. .

  • 6 years ago

    by mossgirl19

    Nams, I have read the first one but have not commented yet...really this is a sad write. I cannot imagine what your family has been thru, Nams but all these things have in one way or another made you the beautiful person that you are. From what I read you have a great dad, you are blessed to have one. I hope you patch things up... I grew up with my grandparents and have always wondered what would it feel like having a father while growing up.

    Sending love to you, Nams.

    • 6 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thank you. Dad and i are fine :) theres much more left to tell - im just struggling with it :)

  • 6 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    I wish I could help you be happier, but all I can do is love and support you along our life's journey! Look forward to the day you get an xbox and I can kick your ass in Halo! :)

    The piece itself did feel a bit rushed, like it hurt while you were writing it -- which, content wise, I can definitely see that being the case. I feel like every verse here could make a poem of its own, and maybe that would be a nice project to undertake. I also imagine there is a lot of content here that impacts you on a daily basis and makes your search for happiness even that much harder. Ever-curious how our lives end up when we're old and wrinkly, I hope you will start to look forward more than looking back. Don't beat yourself up over the past; you are where you are now and we love you for the N that we know. Just the way you are, scars and all. <3

    Much love,
    S

    • 6 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      S - lovely lovely S.. soon i promise!!

      Obviously theres still much to tell!! As im now 27.. haha but i am always here for you too my love!! And i love you and everyone here..

      I actually stopped because emotions were high and i was rushing to get it all out.. this time of year is always a trip down memory lane..

      Much love back S

  • 6 years ago

    by Michael

    Wow nams
    Part two really gives a sadness and with part one an incredible and painful piece. Such raw openess and again thank you for sharing. I will nominate this one, but not another vote left for the first one sorry
    Much love and warmth
    Michael :)x

    • 6 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thanks michael. And for the nomination!
      I didnt actually do it for that - ive just had it on my mind lately and the way to get it all out is write :)

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