Comments : return to sender

  • 3 months ago

    by Lynette Lynn

    very deep ????

  • 3 months ago

    by Kitty Cat Lady

    Oh my! The first verse made me tingle and your intimate descriptions of love/obsession are just brilliant! The way you've left us to guess the end is so clever hiraeth. So good!
    =^.^=

  • 3 months ago

    by mossgirl19

    Ahhh the ellipsis says so much. This was a letter weighing with the pain of love, I felt you.

    A smooth flowing sad write...beautifully done.

  • 3 months ago

    by ddavidd

    This I so unique , so personal. totally standing on its own, without parroting anyone's style. It is very hard to find an independent poet nowadays.
    Also this is so flexible, brimful of fresh and new imageries and metaphors.
    Though here:
    " expunge your gardens
    of decaying matter, "
    Maybe is my bad, but I cannot associate GARDEN with decaying matter that should be sponged. Garden is made of decaying mater turning to positive things (flowers, fruits...), why do you want to expunge that? And if you really are looking for a permanent garden that is niether made of decaying maters nor syntactic ones ( assuming), you must then be talking about heaven. ( edited)
    Another wonderful aspect of this poem is the tune. The way the blaming tune works against itself, and the more you read, the more you learn the depth of love, and the more the purpose of poem stablish itself.
    If I had vote, I would nominate this wonderful piece.

  • 3 months ago

    by Em

    there are no words to express the uniqueness of this piece and just how fabulous it is

  • 3 months ago

    by Brenda

    This is amazing! I am beyond words how this flows -

  • 3 months ago

    by BlueJay

    So I have always loved your poetry, I love penpalling, I love so many things that this references or captures and I know there are so many things you could have done with this piece and might have even drafted that would tell more of what led up to this or where you think it will take you, but I love what you decided to post.

    Firstly, the lack of capitals was interesting and I actually felt that it enhanced the flow of this (not that you normally have issues with this, but you get what I'm saying I think). Secondly, your title was beautiful, it pulled me in because of my love of letters - even before I noticed that you my dear were the author. Thirdly, I find it beautiful when you break your works up into sections or stages or points with the roman numerals, so much so that I've even tried it a few times, but it never comes out as beautifully for me as it does for you - which is my way of saying I love that you have carried on this element of your style and that it worked especially well in this one, almost like each one was a different talking point from your response letter, the one you just couldn't bring yourself to send because you knew whoever it was addressed to would not feel the same, or they might but they are no longer at that address or maybe even just all the what ifs in your own head would have prevented you. I know this is not actually based on a physical letter, but I love that it feels like it could have been.

    "did you know i find shelter
    in you, when my storms
    are prodded into hurricanes?"

    ^ I love this stanza, and especially this intro to it because again you really hit home for me both weather wise and emotionally. I love how diverse your images are and how all your pieces make it seem as though you've lived all over the world or know people who do and how you make it seem like any of your pieces could be to someone new or same as another, but none of us would ever know. The traces linking your works to the members of your life story are too faint for us to pick up on - the subtlty and uniqueness of each one is gorgeous.

    "i know i told you,
    that I found home in the
    midpoint of your clavicles,"

    ^ This reminded me of my own poem about someone's ghost finding a home in my veins and actually it made this entire piece a whole lot more personal and touching to me. Not that you were going for that lol, but hey nice touch!

    I would love to write out more of my take on this piece, but I feel like it would deviate into my own poem and my own response to a situation this reminds me of. And someone your imagery made me imagine. I think you have penned yet another fantastic piece and I'm sorry if this comment bored you or seemed too drawn out.

    • 3 months ago

      by hiraeth

      please please pleaseeeeeeeeeee write your own poem :D

      I'm honestly touch by your comment, thank you so much :D

  • 3 months ago

    by Alice

    So passionate and that third stanza is so sensual. Really expresses the love the speaker feels, great emotive use of direct address. The structure is also very interesting- I liked 'y/our' and the way you used 'i.'