Retrospectively Dealing with this Pain

by BlueJay   Dec 7, 2017


I guess you could say all this started with those famous
“daddy issues”, but there’s more to it than that.

When Mommy cries to herself in the shower
thinking you and baby brother can’t hear it,
when your best friend refuses to stay over
because Daddy scares her out of her mind,
when no one else believes the words you say

Poetry begins calling your name -
promising a sweeter release than the drugs,
alcohol, or knife has so far, there’s a problem.

Like Joey always saying he wants to die,
but really it’s Jarred who takes his own life.
Or Killian making everyone else’s day
before going home to the beer in the fridge,
while Jennifer raises hell at school
only to go home a pretty little angel.

So I’ll stand here before you with
a smile running cross my lips
And a twinkle in my eye, just to
avoid going home at the end of the day.

Maybe that’s what led me to
the online world, swimming
in a sea of possibilities and lies,
soaring along clouds of imagination

and into the arms of a college boy
who writes to remind himself that
life is less scary than the games he plays -

or that time I found myself
in the heart of a sweet kid,
who writes to show people
the artistry of the world around

only to wake up on summer day
to something like “I’m going on vacation,
hang in there, Hun.” Totally unaware
that was the end of the matter.

I guess you could say this is all Daddy’s f...ing fault.

5


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Latest Comments

  • 4 months ago

    by Alex Penuelas

    I like it

  • 4 months ago

    by Ben Pickard

    I have to be honest, because I was brought up being taught that poetry must at all times be lyrical regardless of its form or lack of, this does, to me, read a little like chopped up prose. I'm not sure how we draw the distinction anymore but verse must display figurative language, surely. I read this more like an interesting story, which I enjoyed despite that one gripe.

    All the best as ever

    Ben

  • 4 months ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    This is very touching and you are being very open about it. Thank you for sharing. Brought back some memories. Glad it was nominated. All the very best

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